


Thalassophilia

by Starcrossedsky



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Merpeople, M/M, Masturbation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Telepathic Bond, consensual ritual cannibalism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-24 09:54:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13211304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starcrossedsky/pseuds/Starcrossedsky
Summary: It doesn't start with weird shapes seen in the water or anything like that. It doesn't start with weird eyes following him around.It starts with a slightly shifty cafe job, and an ice cream date that goes really, really off the rails.(Or: Prompto was okay and prepared to maybe have a crush on the Prince. He was not prepared or okay to maybe have a crush on the Prince, who is definitely not actually human at all, kind of maybe definitely likes him back, and is dragging Ignis and Gladio down with him.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I realized that 'noctopus' was a fantastic pun, got mad over the fact that I haven't seen anyone write it, and churned out 5K of self-indulgent fic in about 24 hours.
> 
> Further tags to come as relevant if I ever write more of this. Plot?? more characters?? I don't know don't look at me enjoy your cute squid.
> 
> Thanks @ my buddy Lee for help with titling and lore and @ everyone else who helped me worldbuild this monster. Please forgive any formatting weirdness, I haven't written anything with texting since my Homestuck days.

You've seen quite a few weird things in the two years since you moved to Altissa, escaping the high living costs of Insomnia once your parents couldn't support you anymore. Sure, taking photos of tourists isn't the most fulfilling job in the world, but people pay good money for a decent looking professional shoot.

You're not there _yet_ , but you will be. For right now, you have a pretty stable job at one of the less touristy cafes - the kind that tourists only find by accident or from knowing someone in the area. It keeps you fed, you've got an apartment only a short boatride away, you've got enough to pay for an actual photography class here and there instead of just every free online tutorial you can get your hands on -

Things are good. Mostly. Except for one thing.

You're pretty sure there's something _really shifty_ going on at the cafe.

For one thing, it's mostly Lucians that come and go - you didn't think much of it at the time, and it actually helped a lot when you were trying to adjust, but as time goes by you've realized just how weird that is.

For another thing, the owner of the cafe is a guy named Ignis who is like, at most three years older than you. You're not sure what _his_ story is, and yeah he's as organized as it's possible for a human being to be, _and_ a really good cook, but you're pretty sure that someone that young owning a cafe in a back corner of Altissia is just straight up impossible.

And for one final thing, sometimes people - almost, but not always, in full Lucian black - come and go from a back part of the shop that you're not allowed in, and no one comments on how they don't seem to come back out any time soon.

So, you're pretty sure you're working for something that _might_ be some kind of shady criminal organization, or _might_ be a front for Lucian spies in Altissia keeping tabs on the Empire. _Either way_ , you know you should probably leave as soon as possible, or at least find out if you're going to be threatened into staying.

But, shit, you're pretty comfortable here. The leftovers alone feed you better than pretty much anywhere else, even if you feel like you've eaten nothing but fish since getting hired. And you're pretty sure Ignis lets way more of your shit slide than any other boss would. As long as you don't try to take pictures of the customers or the guys in black who may or may not be a totally different kind of customer, you're golden.

So you stay.

\----

None of that in any way prepares you for the day you're, like, 100% sure you see Prince Noctis hanging around in the back kitchen, chatting up your boss like he's been there forever. At least 98% sure.

You freeze up, completely understandably, still holding a tray of dirty dishes from the pair of old ladies who come by every Thursday afternoon for tea. Your brain doesn't unstick until the Prince claps Ignis on the shoulder and walks off to the _back_ back, disappearing behind the swinging door.

Fact: Prince Noctis had a major spinal injury as a child.

Additional fact: As a result, he's always seen in a wheelchair the rare times he puts on public appearances in Insomnia. He _can_ walk, if he really has to, but it's one of those exhausting-looking, shaky, needs-a-cane walks that perfectly explains why he'd rather roll around.

Final fact: The guy you just saw clapping Ignis on the shoulder was walking perfectly fine, even had a bit of a spring in his step as he headed off through the Back Back Door. He looked healthy and normal.

Conclusion: You must have been seeing things.

You go into the kitchen and pile the dishes into the high-power industrial dishwasher (minus the mismatched fancy china teacups, which need to be washed by hand), and pointedly _don't_ ask Ignis who the hell that was just now. You just finish your shift with maybe a few more - okay, a _lot_ more - glances towards the Back Back Door than usual.

That night, flopped out in the tiny apartment you've called home for the last two years, you come to the conclusion that even if it _was_ Noctis - you're not going to tell anyone. Your job is worth way more than the price of some celebrity gossip, even _without_ the potential that, oh god, if that's Noctis then all those guys in black are probably Crownsguard or Kingsglaives or Kingsguard or something that can murder you six ways sideways without even looking at you, anyway.

Yeah, okay, you are not telling anyone about this. _Ever._

\----

A couple weeks later, you're helping with dishes after hours while Ignis is the phone, and you hear him say, " _Noct_ , for goodness' sake," in the tone he usually reserves for when a customer breaks a dish, and you try to not remember it.

\----

So you don't _completely_ panic the day you come in early and Ignis is splitting his morning coffee with the guy who may or may not be the Prince, but you kind of panic a little. A lot. You're actually frozen in the doorway until someone taps you on the shoulder and a voice says, "You okay?"

You look up. And then you look more up, because this guy is _huge_ and not even just in the you barely come up to his chin way. He's also buff. Like, pick you up and fold you in half the wrong way without blinking buff. He's got tattoos from his wrists going as far up as you can see, too, stylized crashing ocean waves.

"Uh..." you say, because you're actually not sure if you're okay or not.

Thank the Astrals that Ignis looks up at the sound of your voices, adjusts the slim sunglasses he wears constantly, and says, "Gladio, you're scaring my waitstaff."

The big guy, Gladio, laughs a little as he walks past Ignis and maybe-Noctis, headed for the Back Back Door. "Not gonna kill him, Iggy," he says, and you find this not at all reassuring. "You comin'?" he adds to possibly-Noctis as he goes.

"Just a sec," the guy replies, and you can't be _sure_ but the like, one time you heard someone get an actual clip of Noctis speaking on camera? He sounded a lot like that.

You take a deep breath and ignore increasingly-likely-to-be-Noctis finishing breakfast at the table with Ignis as you start the rest of the morning coffee pots going and pull the first of the day's pastries from the industrial ovens to look cute under the glass at the front counter. By the time you're done, Ignis is alone in the back room and his coffee cup is empty.

At this point, hell, you figure that as much as you've been on a need to know basis with your employer about what goes on in that back room, if the _Prince of Lucis_ is _walking around_ here when he shouldn't be walking _or_ around here, well, that's kind of a thing you need to know. You're just clearing your throat to ask when Ignis turns your way.

There's an expression you've never seen on his face before, and he's pulled his sunglasses down just enough to look you in the eye. "Breathe a word to anyone," he says, tone more serious than it was even back during the interview that you were absolutely certain you'd flubbed, way back when, "And Gladio won't get a _chance_ to kill you."

"Yes sir," you say, automatically, and in your nerves, you continue to babble on with, "Gotcha, message received loud and clear, nobody's going to hear a word from me, silence is my middle name."

Ignis nods, satisfied, and helps you set up the rest of the things you'll need for the morning rush without anything more said about it.

\----

It sounds crazy, but now that you have a much better idea of what's going on, the mountain of secrets Ignis is clearly keeping around this place doesn't bother you nearly as much. Sure, the idea that the guys in black are _absolutely_ Lucian military forces and spies here to protect _Prince Noctis_ is pretty terrifying, and you're pretty sure that Ignis is, in fact, every bit as dangerous even if he's not wearing the black.

But at the same time, it makes sense that they're here all the time. Prince. Security detail. Kind of all goes together. You don't ask questions, you don't open your mouth for anything, and everything's cool.

Until one day, you're in the breakroom in the back, near the Back Back, and you hear a voice coming from that door say, "Uh, hey."

You jump nearly out of your skin and turn around, and sure enough, there's Prince Noctis again, shiftily glancing back and forth. His hair is soaking wet like he's just come out of the shower. "You're... Prompto, right?" he says, and you nod mutely, too freaked out to risk opening your mouth. "Can you do me a favor?"

"... _Maybe_?" you squeak.

Noctis immediately looks a little relieved. "Look, I just - it's Iggy's birthday the day after tomorrow, okay? His present is at the shop, but I'm not going to have the chance to get it before then. Can you grab it for me and bring it here when your shift tomorrow starts?"

You had no idea it was Ignis' birthday any time soon. Actually, you weren't sure he even had a birthday. It wouldn't _completely_ surprise you to discover that he sprang fully formed into being somewhere, sunglasses and all. He's that kind of superhuman.

"Uh, sure," you say, because how are you supposed to turn down a request from a prince like that?

"Thanks," Noctis says, kind of breathlessly, pushing his wet hair away from his bangs before digging through his pockets. "Here, this is the receipt, the shop's address is on it. I already told them that I was having someone pick it up for me, so they shouldn't give you any problems."

You take the receipt from him awkwardly and almost stuff it into your pocket without looking. It's the address of a fancy stationery shop on one of the higher levels, and the price paid at the bottom makes your heart jump into your throat a little.

"Consider it done," you say, folding the receipt carefully in half and actually taking out your wallet to ut it away safely. "See you... tomorrow?"

Noctis nods and gives you a thumbs up before quickly retreating back behind the closed door.

\----

You grab the fancy gift box from the stationery shop and take it home immediately, and the next day you find yourself knocking on the Back Back Door while Ignis is still up at the front in order to perform the sweetest Secret Handoff in the history of ever with the actual fucking Prince of Lucis. The price tag on those pens drove any doubt that might be remaining out of your mind, because they're definitely the sort of thing that only royalty can afford.

You trade a high-five with the actual fucking Prince of Lucis. It's almost a shame that you have to wash your hands for work right afterwards. Feeling like a bit of a creep, you sniff your hand before you do, but it just smells like more of the sea salt that fills the air constantly.

Throughout the day, whenever you get the chance, you sneak photos of the cafe's food, and when you get home, you pretend you have any knowledge of graphic design and spend most of the night putting together an updated version of the menu. It's not _great_ as birthday gifts go, but you're pretty proud of it for something you threw together at the last minute, all clean lines with aesthetic little dividers that match the decals on the shopfront window.

You do up three versions, actually, so that Ignis can take his pick of whichever he thinks looks nicest. Then you hustle your ass to the print shop on four hours of sleep to get them done _nice_ , instead of on the cheap photo printer at home, and bring them in with you to your lunch shift.

Ignis looks completely blown away when you present him the file full of prints and the thumb-drive with the original files, but before you know what to say he's thanking you sincerely with a smile on his face that lights up the whole place.

Of course, then he asks if you'd mind coming in on your day off to help put the new menu in the actual plastic folder things, but you just figure you brought that one on yourself.

\----

You don't work on Tuesdays. Nobody does, actually, except maybe Ignis, who seems to literally live off coffee instead of sleep - it's the slowest day of the week, so the cafe doesn't even open. You usually get Wednesdays off, too, but you don't mind so much if Ignis calls you in on one of those.

Tuesday, though, this is definitely the first Tuesday you've ever come down to the cafe on. You still get to sleep in, though, and you figure Ignis'll probably feed you if you show up around lunchtime, so it's a good enough deal for you. Not like you had much else planned except maybe wandering around the city taking pictures, which is what you do on most of the days off you have without anything you really need to do.

You're not really prepared to slip past the [CLOSED] sign and into the back to find Noctis sitting at the break room table with Ignis, already pulling old menu sheets out of clear folders.

You're _doubly_ not prepared for him to lift up the pages of the new design Ignis decided on and say, "Hey, did you take these? They're really good."

"Thanks?" you manage to squeeze out, taking a seat on Ignis' other side.

"I'm serious," Noctis says. "These look so good I could bite into the paper right now."

"Please don't," Ignis says. "It's a fairly costly print job, and you have enough ink in your system as it is."

"Very funny, Iggy," Noctis says, rolling his eyes and looking, briefly, like he might hit your boss with a menu. It's the most confusing day of your life, and, well, for them it's apparently just another Tuesday.

...Is Noctis here _every_ Tuesday? That would explain why Ignis has always discouraged his employees from coming around off-shift unless he specifically asks for them.

Does Noctis _live_ here, when he's not in Insomnia putting on public appearances in a wheelchair that he may or may not actually need?

You help pull the last few menu sheets out in awkward silence, not quite meeting either of their eyes, until Noctis waves a glossy sheet under your nose. "Seriously, though, you've got an eye for this. Are photos like, your thing?"

It's so _weird_ , because even though you know he's the prince and everything, he talks like anyone else your age. "Kind of, yeah," you say. "Not any of you though, I promise."

That gets you a little smile. "Think I could see them sometime?" Noctis asks.

"Yeah, sure," you say, laughing awkwardly, because - well, what else are you supposed to say to that?

You've seen him smile _once_ , and you already know you're screwed. Looks like your spy thriller just turned into a romcom.

\----

You don't actually come out and _ask_ why he doesn't seem to have any problems walking around Altissia, and he doesn't come out and _say_ he's the prince, but you both know and it's kind of the elephant in the room. Still, he says hi to you occasionally when you're on break, and eventually gets your number out of Ignis.

 _That's_ when things really stop being awkward, because before you know it you're texting him constantly, almost any time you're awake and not at work. You send him pictures a lot - of you and anything else interesting you can snap with your phone camera - and he occasionally sends some back, mostly of Gladio (who you sort of get to know by proxy, and who _also_ ends up with your phone number) or Ignis, little candids when they aren't looking. Pictures of Noctis himself are rare, which you figure is probably a security thing.

Still, you manage to piece some things together. Noctis is here instead of Insomnia because the weather is better for his back, which you can easily believe. He spends most of his time either training for the throne or in physical therapy, and generally only hangs around Ignis' on his best days. On his worst days, he spends most of his time texting you from his bed. He doesn't get many chances to go out and see the city, between the concern for some reporter catching him and the fact that Altissia proper is really _not_ friendly to wheelchairs. If his back screws up while he's out in the city, Gladio or someone has to carry him home.

Which is why it's even more surprising when you get a text one day, as you're finishing up your laundry on your day off and wondering where exactly your other silver-on-black chocobo sock went -

> **Prince Bedhead**
> 
> hey, you remember that bridge you took the cool sunset photos from? with the gelato cart?
> 
> -> yeah?
> 
> I'm feeling really good today, wanna go? I'll buy.

You panic and wind up faceplanting into the laundry basket in front of you, inhaling the scent of dryer sheets for a minute until you calm down. Prince Noctis just asked you out for ice cream.

 _Prince Noctis_ just asked _you_ out for _ice cream_.

Fuck if that doesn't sound like a beginner date. Your phone buzzes in your hand again.

> Prompto?
> 
> -> yeah!!! meet you @ iggy's?
> 
> -> in like, twenty minutes? i gotta put this laundry in my room
> 
> sounds good! see you there.

You grin and shove your phone into your pocket, abandoning your missing sock for another, suckier day.

\----

You're like two minutes late to the cafe, but Noctis doesn't seem to care. For once he's abandoned his usual Lucian blacks, which you're grateful for, and a baseball cap over his head hides the signature shape of his hair. It's kind of a fashion disaster, but that just makes you feel less insecure about your current bottom-of-the-drawer laundry day teeshirt.

Together you just look like two dudes - a local showing his tourist buddy around town, maybe. You take your time going up to the gelato cart and the bridge view. Noctis is still more reserved in person than he is over text, but the awkwardness from before is gone, and you have enough energy for two people anyway.

With his permission, you take a couple photos of the two of you as you go, and they turn out pretty well. Okay, there's one of the back of his head that isn't great, but they can't all be winners. You shoot one off to Ignis and Gladio with _im not murdering him i promise!_ attached, and get a single _lol_ in return. Good to know you've gotten their approval, because you're pretty sure meeting your date's parents is less scary than those guys.

It's not quite sunset when you get up to the gelato cart on the upper levels, but that's cool. You get a two-scoop cone with lemon over strawberry, ready for the high-contrast sweet and sour experience, and Noctis gets one with chocolate cookie dough and some fancy caramel au lait thing that leaves a swirl of caramel on his cheek the first time he licks it. You're not _quite_ forward enough to wipe it off for him, but you do snap a picture that makes him protest loudly before he wipes it off.

You send that one off to Ignis and Gladio, too, before you think better of it. A minute later, Noctis' phone buzzes in his pocket, and he solidly ignores it as he sits down on the bench next to you.

"It's just Ignis giving me shit for making a mess again," he says, and you laugh around your mouthful of fancy sour ice cream. "Thanks for that."

"What else are friends for?" you say, before you can think better of it, but he doesn't object to it, instead settling back with his back against the bench in a kind of sprawl that leaves his knee bumping up against yours.

It's... pretty great, actually. Something in the anxious ball of your stomach unknots, and you're able to really enjoy your gelato, just sitting there on the bench shooting the shit and wondering aloud why no one in Altissia has a dog taller than their knees.

"Seriously," you say, most of the lemon part of your gelato already gone, gesturing with your other hand. "Like - I realize the city's packed to the brim and all, but so was Insomnia, and there were still big dogs there. But here - "

"They're all like, snack sized," Noctis agrees. "Like those little candy bars you give to kids because their parents don't want them to have a whole one."

"Exactly!" you say. "Maybe that's why so many people seem to have two or three of them? Like one isn't enough because they're so small, so they're just constantly trying to fill the dog-shaped hole in their hearts?"

Noctis starts to laugh - and then suddenly chokes, his eyes going wide. He sucks in a breath, thumping himself on the upper chest with his free hand.

"Noct?" He hasn't actually given you permission to use the nickname you hear Ignis and Gladio use all the time, but it just slips out. "Are you okay? Is it your back? Do I need to call Gladio?"

Because you know there's no way you can carry him back on your own.

Noctis shakes his head repeatedly. "No, it's - crap." He takes in another breath, then presses his gelato into your empty hand. "Here, take this for a minute."

You fold your hand around the cold stem of the cone. "Are you sure? Is there anything I can - "

"Yeah, I'm sure," he interrupts, voice strained. "Look, just... This is going to sound really crazy, but I need you to go back to the cafe _right now_. I'll meet you there."

"Meet me there?" you repeat, feeling like you have to be missing something. "But if it's your back, how are you gonna - "

"Just _go_ ," he says, and there's something in his voice, some kind of Kingly Authority, that almost makes you obey instantly. And that's pretty scary, because you knew the royal family has magic, but you didn't know it could be like _that_.

It's just that right now, you're way more scared for him than you are for yourself, so you drop both gelatos onto the bench as you reach for his shoulder to try and help -

He throws your arm off in a single swift motion and, to your utter shock, runs across the empty bridge walkway to lean over the far railing. The way he looks out and down, you think maybe he's going to puke or something. But then he pulls his head up, looks at you one more time, and before you're even able to get up to try to stop him he swings a leg up over the railing and -

jumps.

You're two steps from the bench and your hand is stretched out for him and there's a splash, so you run over to look over the railing -

There's nothing there but the dark water and a few ripples of the tide.

\----

You don't wait to get to Ignis' cafe. You pull your phone out of your pocket and press the call button, already pushing your way through the late-evening tourists as though you're twice as big as you are in order to run down the steps -

It picks up after a ring and a half. You don't even wait for a voice on the other line before you start babbling - "Ignis help what do I do, I swear it wasn't me, he was having problems with his back and then he just _jumped_ , what do I do - "

"Take a breath," comes the familiar voice on the other end of the line. You try, you really do, which probably is what saves you from cracking your nose on the pavement as you trip over a flower box. "Breathe, Prompto."

"He just jumped over the railing and disappeared into the water and I couldn't stop him _please don't kill me_ ," you say into the phone as fast as you can, switching it between your hands as you jump over a banister and at least manage to stick _that_ landing. Panic parkour is the worst parkour.

"It's okay, Prompto," Ignis says, probably using your name again to try and help calm you down. It's not working. "He's done this before."

"That doesn't making it _any less terrifying_ , Ignis!" you say into the phone, maybe too loudly from the way a little girl and her mother look at you. Whatever, _so_ not your concern right now. You cut in line at the gondola and fish in your pockets for change, wedging your phone between your head and your ear and hoping to the gods that you don't drop it. That would just be the cherry on top of your sudden shit sundae life.

"Just come here," Ignis says, with an exasperated sigh. "We'll... explain everything, I suppose."

"You'd better!" you say, handing the cash to the gondola worker and jabbing your finger at the stop you want as you go to sit down. Luckily the guy can apparently tell you're in a hurry, and doesn't waste any time once you're seated. "I'll be right there."

"Try to relax," Ignis says, and you swear you can practically hear him messing with his glasses like he does when he's frustrated. "I'll see you soon."

"Yeah, okay," you say, and the line goes dead. You spend the rest of the gondola trip trying to remember how to breathe, your phone clutched in one hand and your leg bouncing with restless energy.

\----

Thank goodness it's Tuesday, is all you can think, as you sprint up to the closed cafe. The door's unlocked, so you just slip inside. There's no Ignis to be seen, nor anyone else for that matter, so you cut through the empty dining room towards the back.

The normally closed Back Back Door is standing open. You know an invitation when you see one, but you still have to take a deep breath. You've made it a point to never so much as ask what goes on back here, other than it being where Noctis apparently lives.

You're not sure what you're expecting, but you know you weren't expecting what seems to be basically a locker room and... A deck? Complete with Ignis in an outdoor chair with a cup of coffee in his hand and the familiar sound of the lapping canal waters and Noctis -

Noctis, sans baseball cap, totally soaked, resting his elbows on the deck next to Ignis' chair. He looks over at the sound of your footsteps, and gives you a sheepish smile as he waves you over.

You nearly drop to your knees then and there, but somehow manage to hold yourself up long enough to get to the edge of the water. "You're okay!" you almost yell, as Noctis kicks off where he's set up next to Ignis and swims over to you. "What the hell, that took ten years off my life!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry." He really sounds like he means it, too. "Ignis told me how much you were freaking over the phone."

"No shit," you say. "You jumped off a _bridge_ , man, that's the kind of thing you should maybe warn someone about. Are you seriously okay?"

"I'm fine," he says. "Sorry, I kind of... panicked." Ignis snorts. "I a lot panicked."

"So you jumped off a _bridge_?!" you say, because it really cannot be overstated that he jumped off a bridge. "What the hell, man. Just. I'm glad you're okay and all, but what the hell."

"Sorry," Noctis says again. "Had to get to the water, and that was the fastest way."

This explains jack and shit to you. "Why?"

Noctis looks at Ignis, and Ignis... Sighs, into his coffee cup. "He'll probably figure it out once the panic recedes anyway," Ignis says. "We've already come this far, you may as well show him."

"Right," Noctis says. "Just a sec." He swims a couple feet to your side, puts his back to the edge of the deck and pushes himself up with his arms until he's sitting beside you.

At first you don't realize what's weird and _wrong_ about what you're seeing. The dark blue, almost black color is pretty much what you'd expect the jeans Noctis was wearing earlier to look like wet, but then you realize the texture is too shiny, and -

The 'jeans' move. In a way that is not at all like human legs should move. They twitch and curl up onto the deck, spreading around Noctis like a dark cloud, each only about as thick as a wrist -

While your brain is still caught between realizing and denying what you're seeing, one of them flips over to reveal the lines of suckers underneath, and _yep_ , okay, those are definitely not human legs in any way, the Prince of Lucis is actually half octopus, that's just -

Just fucking great, really.

You make a sound that's halfway between a laugh and a sob and look back up at his face. Now that you're looking closer, you realize that there's something screwy going on with his eyes - his pupils aren't _shaped right_ , they're like bars from side to side instead of circles, and -

Okay. Deep breaths, Prompto. Deep breaths. He hasn't tried to drown you yet (and neither has Ignis, for that matter, still sitting over there drinking his coffee like it's any other day, shit, for him it probably is), which means you are probably not the unfortunate guy who dies at the beginning to establish how scary the monster is.

You're _probably_ not that guy. In fact the genre of your life is looking increasingly like one of those supernatural romances that's popular with teenage girls, only with mermaids instead of vampires. Okay, sweet. You can deal with that.

You've kinda been staring into his eyes a little too long for this to _not_ be some kind of romance.

"You okay?" Noctis asks, and at first you just kind of nod dumbly, because yeah, you're okay, but at the same time -

"What the _fuck_ ," you say quietly, before burying your face in your hands.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> casually dumps... more of this... eventually i'll have to start adding tags for kinks and stuff but that day is not today. today there is only fluff and Prompto realizing that everyone around him is hot.
> 
> Is there a plot? I don't know. Where is it going? I don't know.

"Okay, so let me get this straight," you're saying, half an hour later. "Pretty much all of the Lucian nobility is actually mermaids. The royal family is a bunch of octopi going back as far as anyone can remember. You all use magic to turn into humans, except Noct's is screwed up and fails randomly, which is why he lives here instead of Insomnia."

So that if his magic starts to fail, he can just take a dive into the nearest canal and swim away safely.

"That's pretty much it, yeah," Noctis says. He slid back into the water while you were talking, and now has his elbows propped up on the deck next to you. Ignis still hasn't moved from his chair, though he finished his coffee cup a while ago.

"Okay," you say, pressing your hand against your forehead and taking a deep breath. "Just one more question, then - _why me_?"

"You noticed stuff," Noctis says. "Like the door, and the Glaives coming and going."

Not for the first time, you find yourself turning to Ignis to make better sense of the explanation. It's happened a couple times this conversation, when Noctis doesn't seem to realize that his context isn't the same as yours. Usually, it's for magic shit, and you're not expecting this to be any different.

"There's a number of enchantments on the cafe to keep the more suspicious activities from being noticed," Ignis says, which yeah, okay, that makes sense. You often wondered why no one else seemed to notice. "You have some degree of latent magical ability, so the enchantment has no effect on you."

Wait, what?

Oh no. Crap. (You really _are_ the protagonist of a supernatural romance novel, complete with mysterious supernatural powers you didn't know about.)

Noctis must see the slowly increasing panic on your face, because he reaches out to tap you on the leg with one hand. You jerk a little, because it's the first time either of you has touched the other since, well. "Chill out. You're probably just mixed, it's not that big a deal. Happens all the time - even Iggy's only half."

"Really?" you say, looking back and forth between them. You wouldn't have expected that, with how _involved_ Ignis seems to be in this whole thing.

"Not that most people would be able to tell," Ignis says, and he's smiling a little. "I went through the rituals to get in touch with that aspect of my heritage quite young, and I'm magically bonded to Noctis and Gladio. I pass for full-blooded quite easily."

"Oh," you say. So he does have gills and fins and stuff in the water. "Uh, is it rude if I ask - "

"He's an eel," Noctis says, answering your most pressing question. "He doesn't like to get wet because it takes so long to get his tail back up out of the water."

"Oh," you say again.

"He's like fifteen feet long or something," Noctis continues, before turning to glance back towards Ignis. "I dunno, when's the last time you were measured?"

"I'm not like you, Noct, I'm not going to keep growing as long as I live," Ignis replies. "And it's sixteen feet, four inches."

"Really long," Noctis summarizes simply, and you kind of laugh.

"Yeah," you say. "That's kind of... Wow." You inhale and then exhale slowly. "I don't know anything about my birth parents," you say. "Shit, I guess you probably already knew that. Background checks and stuff."

A full background check would be overkill for a normal cafe. A cafe that's secretly a front for the - Royal Merfolk Corps or whatever their technical name is? You're sure they vetted the _shit_ out of you. If you weren't from Insomnia with a pretty much spotless record, you probably wouldn't have gotten the job.

Maybe they found something out about your birth parents that you couldn't. Not that you want to _meet_ them or anything - they pretty clearly dumped you off - but it'd be nice to _know_.

Ignis is nodding. "I'll admit, your magical sensitivity is one of the reasons I hired you," he says. "Though I didn't expect it to go this far. Perhaps I should have."

Noctis sinks deeper into the water, like a kid sulking in the bath. "Sorry."

"I can hardly blame you for wanting to go on one normal date," Ignis says, and oh god, it was definitely a date, if Ignis used the D word. You can feel the blush rising up your cheeks and do your best to pretend it isn't there, even while knowing your best isn't very good.

At least Noctis is also blushing, or at least you _assume_ that's why his cheeks are faintly purple. It looks more like bruising than it does like blushing, honestly, but it's not a _bad_ look. Just one that's kind of off and reminds you again that even if he looks mostly human above the waist, he really isn't.

"At any rate," Ignis says when the silence has stretched for a breath or two, "If you like, Prompto, I can arrange for a genetic test to give us a better idea. It'll take some time, since the lab is in Insomnia, but you're hardly the first unknown orphan to be sensitive to magic."

"That's..." Okay, you shouldn't really be surprised by that. "That'd be really great, actually. Uh, so you need blood samples for that?"

"Just cheek swabs," Ignis says, and you sigh, because _good_ , you aren't really that fond of needles. "I'll send for a kit, it should be here by the end of the week." 

"Okay, cool," you say.

"Thanks, Iggy," Noctis says.

"As well as some waterproof bedding and a phone," Ignis continues with an exasperated sound. "As unfortunately certain princes are bad at letting go of things once they get involved. Prompto, how large is your mattress?"

Oh, shit. You make a stuttering noise, vaguely aware that by now your cheeks are _definitely_ crimson. Is he seriously implying - 

"Ignis!" Noctis says, voice probably as close to a squeak as it will go. "We are _definitely_ not at the bed-sharing point!"

"Always better to be prepared," Ignis says, with a smile that makes you just a little bit terrified, even if the danger in it seems mostly directed at Noctis. "Prompto?"

"Uh, twin," you manage to squeeze out. "And uh - maybe something for my reading nook thing?" Your apartment has one of those corners that sticks out over the canal, surrounded by windows, and you can't say you _haven't_ thought about using it for something other than playing with your camera taking shots if the gondola route below.

"Get me the dimensions," Ignis says, and he pulls one of the little notebooks you use for taking orders out to scribble down notes. "Your priorities in a smartphone are the camera and storage capacity, I assume?"

"Yeah," you squeak. "Wait - are you seriously buying me a phone? Just like that?"

"Don't try to stop him," Noctis mutters into the water. "It's not worth it."

Ignis taps his pen on the spiral of the little notebook. "In exchange," he says, "I expect you to start helping out back here. It's significantly more responsibility, as I'm sure you can guess, and sometimes significantly longer hours."

"Right. Okay." Should've realized there was a catch. "Gotcha." Not like you can really say no at this point.

Not like you _want_ to say no, even if you might be getting dragged into that spy thriller anyway. Your cheeks have gotta still be red. Noctis _likes you_. Enough that apparently Ignis is buying you sheets in case of... whatever.

"He makes it sound scarier than it is," Noctis says. "Sorry, you're his gofer now."

"Could be worse," you say with a shrug, because if that's what your job seriously ends up being, yeah, it could be a _lot_ worse.

"I'll go put the order in for these," Ignis says, standing up from his chair and pocketing the notebook. "Try not to stay up too late chatting, you two. The last gondola is at eleven and I don't think Prompto is _quite_ up to swimming home yet."

You gulp. "Yeah, uh, thanks," you say, and then wait until Ignis has stepped away from the deck, past the row of lockers, to turn to Noctis and say, "Is swimming home something I should be prepared for?"

"The water's not that bad," Noctis says. "It's a lot warmer than Insomnia."

"Great," you say. "That's totally what I was worried about. And not, like, something trying to eat me."

"Nothing's going to try to eat you in the _canals_ , Prompto. Just, uh, maybe don't go over by the altar by yourself. The serpents get kind of nasty about that."

"Serpents. Right." Of course there are sea serpents. Why wouldn't there be?

"You'll do fine." Noctis turns away from you long enough to pull himself up on the edge of the deck again, most of his tentacles hanging over the side. Watching them move is kind of disturbing, but in a cool way. You can't take your eyes off him. "...Sorry. For dragging you into this."

"Wha - hey, no, it's cool," you say quickly, pulling your gaze back up to his face. "We're cool. Can't blame a guy for wanting something normal with that kind of life."

Noctis smiles at you, and it makes the goosebumps from the wet and the night air seem a little further away. "You say that now, but you're gonna be the one begging for a normal life soon enough," he says, tone teasing.

You can't help but laugh back at him a little. "I... yeah, probably."

There's quiet between you for a moment, and then you suck it up and ask, "Hey, uh - can I touch them?" with your eyes drifting down to the tentacles again.

"What? Oh, uh, sure," Noctis says, shifting his seat a little to face you and pull a bit more of himself out of the water. As you reach down, one of them rises to meet your hand, and wraps loosely around your wrist.

It's... weird. Not _totally_ slimy, which you're grateful for, just slick. You overheard someone at the aquarium once describing octopus skin as like the inside of someone's mouth, and you can kinda see why right now. It's wet and smooth and very definitely alive in your hand, the two rows of suckers grabbing and releasing your skin without any real rhythm.

It feels really strong, though. Like with just the single time wrapped around your wrist, he could probably pull you over. (And drag you into the water and drown you, but you're very pointedly _not_ thinking about that.)

It's weird, but you're pretty sure you can get used to it.

"Well?" Noctis asks, looking at your hand with a little apprehension. He's probably just as nervous about your reaction as you were about... well, actually touching him.

"...'s cold," you say eventually. Because it is, and you think commenting on how slimy-or-not it is is probably kind of rude.

"I'm not exactly your typical mammal."

"Guess not."

He puts his hand over yours, and yeah, that's cold, too, if not quite as wet. "You're really warm," he says, and the two of you lean in closer over your hands as though by unspoken signal, and - 

And there's a splash. You both look in that direction, otherwise frozen, and you notice that Noctis' tentacles have all suddenly turned so pale a blue it's almost white.

"Okay, kids, party's over," comes a familiar voice. Gladio's head and shoulders appear on the other side of Ignis' abandoned chair, as he props himself up with his elbows. "No makeouts until your clearance goes through."

"We weren't gonna _make out_ \- " Noctis protests, but Gladio ignores it and gives you a cheerful grin. It has way sharper teeth than you're used to.

"And preferably not till you both have gills, if you're going to do it dockside," he says. "Don't want you to fall in and drown, we actually like you."

There's something weird about the use of 'we' there that fades into the background of the rest of the day's weird. 

"Thanks, I guess?" you say, unable to actually be entirely happy with him right now. You were having a _moment_ and now it's ruined by your maybe-sometime-soon-boyfriend's weird buff friend-slash-bodyguard.

...Who, you realize very suddenly, must be shirtless, which is a pretty distracting thought in itself. Not that Gladio ever seems to wear much in the way of shirts on _land_ , but...

(You mentally slap yourself out of it, because there's no way you're lucky enough for this to be a harem series, and anyway the guy still has to pick one of them in the end of those anyway. There's no way you're going to make anything weird between Noctis and his other friends. Nope. Not going to be that guy, ever.)

Ugh, whatever. Moment still ruined. You look at Noctis a little hopelessly, and say, "I should probably get going, anyway. I don't actually want to catch the _last_ gondola and all."

"Yeah, I guess not," he says. "Still got laundry to do, right?"

Shit, you'd completely forgotten. Your missing sock feels a lifetime ago. Probably because this day took at least five years off your life, probably ten.

"Yeah, and work tomorrow," you say with a groan. "Ignis is gonna put me through my paces, I just know it."

"Yep," Gladio agrees, and you wish he was close enough to splash in the face, even though it probably wouldn't even bother him. "Sucks to be you."

"Night, Prompto," Noctis says, before sliding himself back off the dock to bob in the water.

"Night, guys," you reply, before turning and heading out of the cafe before you can overthink it. Ignis isn't hanging around, so you lock the door behind you.

You're pretty sure one or the other follows your gondola ride home, and sure enough, as you turn to go up the stairs, you see a lurking prince, now sans teeshirt, tucked up against a canal wall, one hand raised in a half-wave. 

You wave back and then take the steps almost two at a time back to your apartment.

\----

You come in early the next day, which turns out to be good, because Ignis pulls you to the back (not quite literally) and gets you _fingerprinted_ , then hands you a shortlist of potential new phones to pick from. They're all way more expensive than anything you would've had the budget for on your own, so you wind up kind of picking blindly.

After that, though, it's pretty much your normal cafe shift until the afternoon, when you're sent back with lunch for Noctis, Gladio, and the pair of Glaives who are just kind of. Chilling. In the locker room part of the back. It's hard to not find the whole thing intimidating, especially when the female Glaive flashes you a grin full of shark teeth and asks if you're fresh meat.

"I - that is - uh - " you stammer, but luckily Gladio swoops in to rescue you and/or his lunch, which almost makes you forgive him for the night before.

Almost.

"Don't mind that lot," Gladio says, taking the tray to set up at the table on the deck. "They just like hazing newbies."

"Sure," you say. "Wasn't gonna." You totally were.

And then, almost as easy as that, you start to settle into the new routine. Morning shift is still running around the cafe, until you bring lunch back to Noctis, Gladio, and whoever else happens to be hanging around the back that day, usually some selection of the six or so Kingsglaive hanging around the city.

(Most of the Glaive, you find out, is mixed, too, even less mer than Ignis' half. Some of them couldn't even transform before forming a contract with the King, which is somehow different from the bond Noctis, Ignis, and Gladio have, though no one seems like they're going to explain the exact difference to you.)

(You also find out that Gladio is some kind of shark, but after seeing his teeth, that's way less surprising.)

Afternoons involve you putting your running skills to good use crossing the length and breadth of Altissia - Noctis wasn't kidding when he said Ignis was setting you up as a gofer. You pick up things, drop off things - 

It's almost a surprise, when you bring back a fairly large (and awkward) package to the back, and Ignis just says, "Go ahead and leave it there for now. It's mostly for you, I just have to get some paperwork out of it."

"Oh," you say, surprised. And then your brain catches up - "Wait, is this my new phone?"

"And your sample kit for the genetic testing, yes," Ignis says, abandoning the front counter for a moment to come back and slit the tape open. Now that you watch a little closer, you've noticed that he tends to do that with a single too-sharp fingernail instead of a box cutter or knife. 

He hands you a white cardboard box with instructions on the front. "Here you go, do that first and we can send it right back off. Not that it matters terribly much, with weekend post being what it is..."

You hum agreement, following the instructions on the box to scrape the insides of your cheeks a couple times, and try not to get too excited about setting up your new phone when you get off shift.

\----

Monday morning, normally the last day of your week, comes with a simple text -

> **Specs**
> 
> Bring swimwear today.
> 
> -> do i have to?
> 
> Unless you'd rather swim naked, yes.
> 
> -> okay okay!

You're almost late with the extra time it takes you to dig out a pair of trunks and a teeshirt you don't mind ruining with the ocean, but you just slide in the door on time for the afternoon shift. A customer you vaguely recognize, tall and skinny guy in a trenchcoat, holds the door open for you as you slide in, but he's gone before you can turn around and thank him.

Ignis doesn't even glance up as he waves you to the back. "Have fun," he says, which doesn't do much for your sinking feeling that this is going to be anything but.

Luckily, there aren't any Glaives in the back when you get there. Actually, at first you think there isn't anyone at all, before Gladio's head breaks the water. He shakes his head a little like a dog, hair sending spray in all directions.

"'Bout time," he says. "Get changed and get in here. You _can_ swim, right?"

"Yeah," you say, because fortunately your parents _did_ think that was important enough to get you lessons for, unlike driving. It's been a while, but it's got to be just like riding a bike, right? 

(At least Gladio _probably_ won't let you drown, anyway.)

"In the ocean, or just pools?"

"Just pools," you say, nervously.

Gladio gives you one of those almost-distressing shark teeth grins. "Oh boy. Dead water. You're in for a treat."

You're not sure what he means by that and not sure you're willing to ask, so instead you duck behind the row of lockers to change. You've got your own now, third from one end, and pop it open to pile your stuff into.

...It looks pretty empty and boring. Maybe you can stick some photos in here later, even if it makes you feel kind of like a highschool girl.

You change quickly, even though you're not really looking forward to the water, and come back out from around the row of lockers. Gladio looks you over briefly, frowning, before waving you at the stairs leading straight down into the water.

It occurs to you that you have no idea how deep the water is here. Deep _enough_ , you guess, considering that Gladio is like nine feet long from head to tail and can disappear into it completely. Deep enough that you can't see the bottom, at least not here in the shade of the buildings, tucked up away from any potential witnesses.

It's fine. You can swim.

You tell yourself this for the first three steps into the water - which really _isn't_ as cold as you were worried it would be - and then you feel - _something_ \- 

"I need to sit down," you say, dropping onto your butt on the steps before you fall over and either drown or crack your skull open.

_Dead water_ , Gladio said earlier, laughing about swimming pools, and _now_ you get what he was talking about. The ocean waves lap at your shins, and it isn't exactly _welcoming_ but it's - it's definitely something. The sea is very, very alive. Not in a way that cares about you, but it just _is_ , some wild magical thing that makes your pulse go fast and almost makes you want to wade the rest of the way in, go down, down, down...

You take a couple of deep breaths until the sensation subsides. It doesn't really go away, but it gets easier to think through it, the same way you used to get used to the cold water at the pool. "Wow," you say finally.

"Yeah, that's what they all say," Gladio says with a laugh. "I admit, I kinda get a kick out of seeing mixed kids put a toe in for the first time. Every one of you gets the same 'mind completely blown' expression."

You try to turn off the mind-completely-blown expression, but probably don't quite succeed, and instead slide the rest of the way into the water. "It's not like that for you?"

"I'm used to it," he says. "Been in and out of the ocean since before I can remember. Noct and Iggy, too. It's only the ones who come to it later in life who make that face."

You try to remember if you've ever been to beach before, and vaguely realize that you haven't. With the water up to your waist, you drop the rest of the way in, sucking a breath at the immediate chill before your brain processes that the water isn't really that cold. "Is that really common?" you ask. "I know Ignis said most of the Glaive is mixed, but - "

"Not _really_ common, maybe," Gladio says, leaning up against the edge of the deck. "But common enough. That's actually why the lifeguards on the beaches around Insomnia are Crownsguard trained - sometimes little kids, they feel the pull of the water and they - "

He makes a vague hand gesture, waving it just above the waterline.

"They don't realize that it's not _supposed_ to feel like that when you breathe air."

"Oh," you say, and shiver anyway. Well, that'll wipe the expression of wonder right off your face. The sea still pulls at you, that little touch of magic, but it seems somehow less comforting, now that you know that that same pull causes people to just walk into the ocean and _drown_.

"Yeah, and sometimes older folks too," he says. "It's.. not great."

"Yeah," you agree, suddenly very glad that there _is_ someone here to keep an eye on you so that you don't... Do that. You remember the impression that the ocean doesn't actually _care_ about the life of one dude one way or the other, and turn it over in your head until you're sure you won't forget it. "...Thanks," you say, quietly.

Gladio's expression says that he understands for what even if you don't say it. After a breath, though, he says, "Well, hanging out there in the shallows isn't going to do you any good, either. Come on, into the deep end with you."

You sigh and grudgingly kick out away from the stairs. Knowing that you can tread water doesn't help with the dropping feeling in your gut when you can't feel anything solid under you anymore. Neither does the feeling of home prickling at your skin, encouraging you to dunk your head under.

You ignore both and kick over to Gladio instead.

\----

Once you're used to the water, Gladio almost gleefully puts you through your paces. You spend as much time holding your breath as you do breathing and you're _sore_ from using muscles in ways you don't think you've ever used them before, even with all the running and occasional bouts of parkour you do to get around. You can kind of tell that he's getting you ready to learn to _fight_ underwater, like some insane combination of martial arts and water aerobics, and neither of those is exactly easy by itself.

But it still feels good, even when you realize that you've completely lost track of time and didn't even feel hungry until Ignis showed up with lunch. When you do finally climb out of the water, your body feels almost ridiculously heavy, and not just because of the dripping wet of your clothes and hair. 

You almost can't wait to go home and not move, and definitely can't help the groan that escapes you when Gladio says, "Day after tomorrow, same time, same place."

Ugh, but you have the first couple hours of a morning shift to go through on top of that. You wring out your trunks as best you can before stuffing them in your bag, already glad your phone's waterproof when your hair drips onto the screen.

> **Prince Bedhead**
> 
> -> help gladio kicked my ass today
> 
> yeah, he does that.

You smile down at your phone, and keep texting Noctis off and on as you leave the gondola and head back up to your apartment.

> -> i don't think i can get up the stairs
> 
> -> u got 8 legs, lend me some
> 
> sorry. kind of attached to them.
> 
> -> ignis helped you w/ that one didn't he

Jiggle your key a little because your door is stubborn, twist the handle, and - _ah_ , home sweet home.

You hang your half-dry, salty clothes over the bathroom door and flop out across your bed.

> no??? I can be witty.
> 
> -> right
> 
> -> where were you today anyway i didn't see you at all?
> 
> working on magic stuff. could pass out right about now.

_Magic stuff_. You almost ask, but then figure that his explanation probably wouldn't make that much sense anyway. If it winds up being that important, you'll find out eventually.

Probably from Ignis.

Instead you roll over onto your back and lift your phone for a selfie. Your hair's a total disaster, but you just use one of your filter apps to scribble a _same_ onto the bottom edge before you send it off.

> yeah that's about how I look, too.
> 
> -> your hair's always a mess, man. must be all that seawater.
> 
> yeah probably.
> 
> also are those the new sheets? they look regulation.

You stifle a laugh, rolling back over. Most of the bedding Ignis ordered for you is black or dark blue, and the waterproof sheets are a little plastic-feeling, but it's still nicer than anything you had before, so you're not going to complain. Not like you really had any kind of interior design thing going on anyway.

Still, though. _Regulation_ sheets. The idea of it just kind of makes you laugh, even though you know it's a sign that you are getting way deeper into this faster than you planned.

> -> yeah! they're pretty nice.
> 
> does that mean I can come over?

_Definitely_ way faster than you planned. You roll your face into your pillow as your phone goes off in your hand again. When you lift your head again, it's to see that Noctis must have realized how that sounded -

> not in a sexy way! just in a hanging out way.
> 
> -> yeah sure
> 
> cool, open your window in like 5mins

Your _window_?

"You know what," you say out loud to your phone. "Sure. Whatever. It's not like it gets any _weirder_ than having a royal mermaid maybe-boyfriend."

You kind of clean things up a bit for a couple minutes before opening your window. Not even a full minute later, a couple of dark blue tentacles, and then a pair of hands, catch on your windowsill. You hurriedly go over and help pull Noctis up and through the opening, the two of you landing in a damp pile in the middle of your bed.

You almost, maybe, kind of, regret not having a couch at the moment. But only almost, because you're too busy laughing.

"I can't believe you - you really climbed up to my window!" you say. "How did you even do that?!"

Noctis smirks and wiggles a couple of tentacles towards your face, the suckers opening and closing like they're grabbing onto something. "I'm good at climbing."

"No kidding!" you say. "I'm on the fourth floor!" You bounce up briefly to look out the window and - yep, there's a slightly veering trail of wet showing exactly where Noctis climbed up.

It's crazy. It's a _good_ kind of crazy, though, and you flop back down onto the bed next to him, still trying to control your laughter. He's grinning back at you, wide gills on the sides of his neck flared and dark blue at the edges, and then your eyes wander down - 

And you realize that he isn't wearing a shirt.

Which technically means that he's naked. In your bed.

Your laugh seizes suddenly in your throat into some kind of twisty nervous giggle as your face heats up. And yeah, okay, technically you've already seen this (on both him _and_ Gladio, and you push that thought soundly down, because you're being a good sort-of boyfriend and that means not dwelling on getting kind of manhandled by your maybe-boyfriend's best shark bro), but that wasn't in your _bed_. 

And yeah, it's not nearly the same kind of thing for them, considering that most mer primarily breathe through the gills along their ribs (Noctis' are pressed closed now to let him breathe with lungs, but you can still see the slits). But it's still pretty disarming to realize and you are trying really hard not to stare at his chest and - 

Failing kind of horribly.

And Noctis has _noticed_ , because he's starting to get that blue-purple blush in his cheeks again, looking back and forth between your face and his own chest. "Uh..." he tries to start.

"I-I'll get you a shirt!" you say quickly, practically throwing yourself off the bed towards your dresser. At least he's close enough to your size that one of your baggy sleeping teeshirts will fit him just fine. You fling it at him without turning around and shut the drawer; by the time you look back, he's got his arms through the sleeves and is pulling the neck down around his head.

And, okay, seeing him in _your_ shirt might not have been the best plan, either, but it's better than bare chest. You resolve to ignore that absolutely anything weird might be going on below _your_ waist, and instead flop back into place on your bed.

"So uh, where's your phone?" you ask, looking for _anything_ else to talk about. "You don't look like you've got pockets there."

Noctis grins again and flips his hand - there's a brief trail of blue lights around his phone as it appears. "Magic."

"Cheater," you say.

"Yeah, but I can't hear it ring in the Armiger, so, you know, there's tradeoffs," he says, tossing it from one hand to the other. "King's Knight?"

"You're on," you say, pulling your phone out from where it got knocked under a pillow and getting comfortable. "Hope you're ready to get your ass kicked."

"You wish."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one turned into the Exposition And Worldbuilding chapter, oops.
> 
> Also there's Ignis being emotionally vulnerable, for people who like that sort of thing.
> 
> Gdocs has decided to be weird and kind of dickish to the entire fandom apparently? So please forgive and spacing weirdness.

It's starting to get kind of late when Noctis' phone rings in the middle of a game. You both freeze, then he swipes a thumb over the answer button.

You can see the name 'Cor' on the caller ID and _holy shit what is Cor the Immortal calling about in the middle of he night_ goes through your head in the time it takes for Noctis to say, "What's up?"

And okay it's really hard to resist leaning in and listening, but sitting close as you are, you don't really have to to hear Cor's reply, louder than you expect and a little distorted. "Where are you?"

"Prompto's place," Noctis answers immediately. "You know, the guy who - "

"Stay there," Cor interrupts. "It's safe enough for now, since it's not associated with the Crown."

That doesn't sound good.

"What happened?" Noctis asks, and catches your eye. He puts a finger to his lips, and you nod quickly. He puts the phone on speaker.

"Niflheim is having another go at the altar," Cor says. "Nothing to do with us, as far as anyone can tell, but we're going into lockdown as a precaution."

"Snakes are gonna be pissed," Noctis says.

"Trust me, I'm not looking forward to it. Also..." Cor's voice trails off for a moment. "This isn't confirmed, but one of our sensors caught something _big_ leaving the bay earlier."

"I'm guessing it wasn't Leviathan," Noctis says, but all the humor is drained out of it. His tentacles, spread across your bed and sort of vaguely over your leg, curl up and turn pale, and his hand finds yours to squeeze.

You squeeze back. It seems like the right thing to do.

"No," Cor's voice says. "Looks like our dear kraken was hanging around." The bite of the sarcasm is clear enough to make you wince.

And, okay, this is kind of getting to be on the scary side. Even if you're safe here in your apartment - you knew the war between Niflheim and Lucis was still a _thing_ , and a thing that was probably going to be relevant to your life eventually if you kept hanging around the prince. But you didn't expect it to be this soon, or this frightening.

Some of that, though, might just be the fear that comes of not actually _knowing_ any of what's going on. No one's actually told you anything about the sea serpents that apparently hang out around Leviathan's altar. And you thought Altissia was under imperial control already.

Maybe that's just above the surface?

Noctis groans slightly. "Typical. Well, if he's gone already, there's not much we can do about it."

Cor doesn't directly respond. "I'm going to send Ignis your way - he's the closest. The three of you keep your heads down and hopefully this will all blow over by morning."

"Hopefully," Noctis agrees. And then the screen blinks as the call ends, before going black.

With a groan, Noctis flops over to the side, rolling away from you and stretching his arms out. "Shit. Sorry, guess I'm staying the night."

"Don't worry about it," you say. "Guess it's a good thing I got those sheets, huh?" Because the idea of making him sleep on the floor or... What, in your bathtub?

Yeah, that's definitely not happening. You'll stay up all night if you have to.

(Not like you can really share the bed. There might be room if you squeezed, but you are so not to that point, and especially given how his tentacles already tend to curl up around anything they can grab... Yeah, you'd be a tangled mess by morning.)

(Also, you are totally _not_ sharing a bed with him while Ignis is in the room.)

"Yeah," he agrees, but there's no smile in it. "Hey, can you run down and give Iggy a hand? It's late enough that he probably had to swim over here, and - "

"And he's stupid long and gonna have problems getting up here," you say. "Gotcha. I'll be right back."

"You'd better," Noctis says, pulling his tentacles off your leg so you can get up and go to the door.

\----

You're not sure what to expect when you get to the bottom of the stairs - the gondola stop, at least, is dark already for the night, and there's not actually much light _anywhere_.

You shiver. It would be just your luck, to go down to pick up your boss (probably literally) and run into a daemon in some dark corner. You shine your phone in front of you as a makeshift flashlight, and eventually the light reflects off something wet- 

"That best be you, Prompto," says a familiar voice, and some ot the breath you weren't quite holding leaves you.

"Yeah, it's me," you say.

"Good. In that case, please refrain from shining that in my eyes."

"No problem," you say. You tap the lock button so the screen turns off and slide the phone into your pocket. You're going to need both hands, probably. More than you need to see, because it really is dark here without it, the only lights being the windows of the apartments above you reflected down onto the water and one distant street light.

Ignis is... long. You didn't really _appreciate_ how long 'sixteen feet, four inches' would be in real life before now, but you can see immediately why Ignis doesn't really like having to do this and why Noctis sent you down to help him. His human torso - in a soaked, unbuttoned dress shirt that he's hastily buttoning up as you come closer - is maybe three feet up the stairs of the gondola stop, and the rest of him just trails down into the water like a shiny black ribbon until it vanishes.

Considering the Ignis you know, always so perfectly in control, you can only imagine how much he hates that he needs help getting back up on land. He doesn't complain as you step past, going knee-deep in the water (and ignoring the immediate call of the sea again, _no_ , shut up stupid ocean, you're just here to help Ignis).

"Any spikes or anything I should be worried about?" you say, trying to keep the mood light even though it's anything but. It seems to work, because you can see a little bit of a smile on Ignis' face in the darkness.

He's not wearing the sunglasses and his hair is kind of a mess. An attractive mess. Oh _gods_ , okay, so your boss is actually kind of really hot attractively rumpled. You can admit this to yourself in the safety of your head and then proceed to _never think of it again_.

"No," he says. "Just don't be too rough with me."

"Not a chance," you say, hoping like hell that his vision isn't good enough in the dark to see the way the innuendo there hits you. _Nope_ , not thinking this - 

Oh hell he's chuckling he can definitely see you blushing.

Stupid teasing eel boss.

You go for a safe distance from his hips and reach under the water to where his tail must be - it's slimier than Noctis or Gladio, really slick and hard to get a grip on, because of course it is. Thick and heavy, too. You grit your teeth a little and _lift_ , pulling the length up out of the water at an angle.

Behind you, Ignis hauls himself the rest of the way up the steps, and when you glance back that way, he's got his arms out for the chunk of his tail you're holding. You _gently_ hand it off, resolutely ignoring how _completely weird_ this is until later when you can have a proper meltdown about this whole night.

"Another few feet ought to be enough," he says., and then his tone shifts to something quieter and gentler. "...Thank you, Prompto."

"Don't worry about it," you say, splashing back down the steps to get the next five feet or so of his tail. That's _still_ not the end of it, somehow, but you trust Ignis to know how much he needs out of the water to transform, even if all the other mer you've seen so far have to be totally out of the water. "It's not a problem at all."

That's a lie, he's _really_ heavy, but you were going to be sore tomorrow anyway.

"Still, I appreciate it."

You don't reply, instead reaching down and lifting again. At least there's a taper, so this part of his tail isn't as thick or heavy as the first part. You take a couple of splashing steps back up the stairs.

As a result, you can feel exactly when the transformation magic kicks in, a tingle across your bare arms. The weight vanishes in a sparkle of crystalline magic, like when Noctis summoned his phone earlier - 

And then it's just Ignis, pulling himself to his feet with the railing of the gondola stop, and you shaking water off your hands. You're both utterly drenched, but - 

All in all, it could have gone a lot worse.

As you watch, Ignis finishes adjusting his shirt collar - still soaked, it clings to him like a wet teeshirt in summer - and pulls his signature sunglasses out in a tiny blue spark of magic. He doesn't put them on quite yet, though, instead hooking them over his collar to hang off to the side. "Shall we?"

"Yeah, sure," you say, heading up in the direction of the street your apartment is actually _on_. "This way."

\----

When you come back, jiggling the lock again, it's hard to not be self-conscious. Noctis seeing your place is one thing, but even if Ignis wasn't your boss, it's totally different, with how put-together he always is, for him to see your mess.

Noctis is still seated on your bed, staring down at the phone in his lap, and without looking up, he says, "Gladio's holed up with a couple of the Glaive. Looks like it's just us here."

You step aside to let Ignis in before closing and locking the door. "At least he's somewhere safe," you say, even though you can't imagine how crowded and awkward it would get with all four of you in here. As it is, a glance of Ignis in better lighting, his hair down and his eyes squinting against the light as he puts the sunglasses on, is almost too much for you. "Let me get you a towel," you say to him.

"Thank you," he says. "And perhaps if you have dimmer lights...?"

"Sure," you say, bouncing off towards your bathroom. "Just a sec."

Towels first, and then you go over to your bookshelf to turn on the strand of crystal lights that you have strung up around the ceiling. The multicolored glow isn't much brighter than it was outside, but you know your space well enough to get around, Ignis clearly doesn't need the light, and Noctis doesn't seem inclined to get up until he has to piss, perfectly comfortable in a tentacle sprawl across your bed.

"Better?" you ask, as you flip the main lights off.

"Yes, thank you," Ignis says, and he slides the glasses off again as he settles in to dry his hair. "I must admit, this isn't quite what I was expecting. I thought you had a one-bedroom?"

"Oh, uh, I do," you say, nudging Noctis over with your knee so that you can take your spot on the bed back without sitting on any tentacles. "I use it for a dark room."

"Why am I not surprised," Noctis mutters, scooting over before leaning back against the wall again. "That's so you."

You elbow him, half an eye still on Ignis. He's watching out the window, his eyes on the water below.

"It's a quite comfortable space, at any rate," he says after a minute, and you relax. Whatever inspection of your place he was doing, you've apparently passed, even if only because you did clean up the laundry recently.

"Thanks," you say. "So, uh, I always thought the glasses were just a fashion thing."

"Ah, no," he says, shifting to turn back towards you. "My vision is designed for much lower light than most - deeper waters, and so forth." He makes a gesture at your string of lights. "The light from those is about the same to me as a well-lit room is for you - an unfortunate holdover because of my mixed blood."

You nod. "Is that common?"

"Not particularly. Most mer can see quite well in low light, but my eyes not adjusting back to normal range in human form is fairly unusual."

You hum, and take a glance at Noctis, who is making a point of looking absorbed by his dimmed phone screen. His pupils are way big, compared to earlier when you had the lights on, still that same weird-looking horizontal bar. "I guess you can see fine in here too, then," you say, nudging him.

He shrugs. "It's whatever."

You squirm into the pillows and get comfortable. "So like, what's actually going on? Why's Niflheim attacking the altar?"

Ignis sighs and Noctis squirms a little next to you. "As you might have guessed, Accordo's cooperation with Imperial rule extends only as far as the waterline," Ignis says. "The human government is in no position to refuse any of Niflheim's demands, especially now that they no longer have a standing military. The children of Leviathan, on the other hand..."

"You know about Niflheim blowing up the Glacian?" Noctis asks, and you shiver as you nod. The idea of people just killing a god like that... You don't know too much _about_ it, but you know that it _happened_. "Yeah, well, apparently the Niffs just hate _all_ gods, and they want to do the same thing to Leviathan."

"Her children, the sea serpents of Altissia, are understandably not happy about it," Ignis adds. "They care little for the affairs of humanity, but they are tenacious in defense of the slumbering Tidemother and not at all hesitant to rouse her in defense of their waters. As most of Niflheim's military power is designed for above-surface combat and they don't particularly want to destroy the human Altissia in a full assault on the serpents, it's been a stalemate for some years now."

"But the Niffs take potshots at the serpents every now and then anyway," Noctis says. "Usually it's over in a couple of hours, but once in a while, it isn't. That's why we're on lockdown right now."

It's... complicated, but it makes good enough sense. Well, minus the part where Niflheim apparently has some kind of grudge against the gods and would apparently take on Leviathan head-on if it wasn't for Altissia being caught in the crossfire. _That_ part probably isn't something either of them can explain to you.

"Okay," you say. "Wait, so when you say they're not afraid to rouse Leviathan..."

"She hasn't broken the _surface_ yet, for which I imagine all of Altissia is grateful," Ignis says. "But she sleeps very lightly, and has awakened at least twice to repel Niflheim assaults below the waterline."

You shudder again. "Okay, that's... pretty scary. Is there any chance of this turning into... that?"

"It's extremely unlikely," Ignis says, which isn't no chance at all and therefore doesn't do much to quell your nerves. "However, if she were to awaken, I suspect even you would feel it, and Noct and I would certainly be aware immediately. Mer may not be her chosen children, but we're still a fair bit sensitive to the whims of the ocean, of which Leviathan is the preeminent incarnation."

So in addition to everything else, you have a magic sense if the angry snake goddess in the bay does more than roll over in her sleep. That's... Well, it's some kind of thing.

You feel reasonably confident in your understanding of that now, so you turn your attention to the other question. "Okay, then... what's the kraken, then?"

Or _who_ , maybe more accurately, considering that from the exchange you overheard, Noctis seems to at least know _of_ him.

Sure enough, the prince gives a drawn out sigh, flopping against your ide with his head pillowed on your shoulder. " _Really_ don't wanna talk about that guy," he says.

Unless you're totally mistaken - which you might be, given that the room's pretty dark still - Ignis gives Noctis an exasperated, fond smile before answering. "Are you familiar with stories of the Accursed, Prompto?"

You blink. "I mean - yeah, I guess? Isn't that just a kids' story, like the boogeyman or whatever?"

"I'm afraid not. The Accursed is very real, though we don't know how much of what he can do in the stories is true and how much has simply grown in the telling," Ignis says. "It's rather hard to get him to sit down for an interview, you understand."

The laugh that draws out of you is nervous and kind of squeaky, but it still surprises you by happening at all.

And then Noctis mutters, "Also, he's one of my ancestors," into your shoulder, and that kind of ruins any laughing you might have done.

Fuck. No wonder Noctis doesn't want to talk about it. You gulp. An evil member of the royal family would be a terrifying prospect even _without_ the whole merfolk thing going on and everything that you still don't really know about that.

"Probably not _direct_ ancestor, but near enough that it doesn't matter," Ignis says. "He's known as the kraken to most aquatic races - an ancient octopus mer of unlimited dark power, grown to a frankly ridiculous size due to his immortality."

He pauses, then gestures at Noctis' tentacles, spread over your bed and occasionally twitching. "The family continues to grow in size until death, you see. We take annual measurements."

"Oh." So if he's immortal, then he just keeps growing and growing and... 

"Reports vary, but current estimate based on the growth rates of the mortal members of the Lucis Caelum family put his aquatic form at at least a hundred feet in total length. For reference, Noctis is a bit shy of eight feet, and Regis is a little over eleven."

"Eep," you say, nudging Noctis with your shoulder as you shift. "That's a lot of tentacles."

A lot of really terrifying tentacles. How old do they think he _is_ , to get that kind of length?

"It's kind of the big family secret," Noctis says, pulling himself off your shoulder. One of his tentacles curls around your wrist, and you lightly squeeze it back. "He usually only surfaces every couple decades, but he's been really active lately. Mostly in Niflheim."

Oh, _great_. "So, wait, then is he behind the whole..." You gesture in what you think is the direction of the altar. "Underwater conquest thing?"

"It's possible," Ignis says, "though it would be fairly unusual. Like the gods, the Accursed hasn't previously shown much interest in human affairs."

You sigh. "Okay," you start to say, squeezing the tentacle in your grasp again. It squeezes back. "And uh, thanks for telling me. I realize this is probably like, all super classified information or whatever - are you sure you won't get in trouble?"

"It's fine," Noctis says. "It's all pretty much common knowledge in the Kingsglaive and Crownsguard, except for the part about the kraken being one of my ancestors. And you're - " 

For a brief moment, he hesitates, glancing at Ignis, who doesn't change his expression at all. If you didn't know better, you'd think he didn't even notice, but - yeah, not a chance, Ignis notices _everything_.

"You're my friend," Noctis settles on, and yeah, that's a good enough word for now. You don't need to label this, anyway. It still gives you plenty of warm, fuzzy feelings.

"Still, thanks," you say. 

Even in the dim lighting - maybe _especially_ in the dim lighting, you're a photographer, you know that lighting is key to the emotional element of a picture - the little smile Noctis gives you is worth all the crazy mermaid shit in the world.

\----

It winds up really not being that bad to have Ignis over, though you don't wind up getting any sleep and are _really_ glad Niflheim decided to stage their attack on a Monday night so that you can just spend all of tomorrow in bed. You would have expected it to be awkward, having your boss hanging around your place and basically serving as your _bodyguard_ for the night.

But any time it seems like things might hang awkwardly, either Ignis smooths it over himself or Noctis is right there with a comment, and instead you just find yourself stunned by how well they fit together. You can even tell sometimes the space they unconsciously leave where Gladio would fit right in, and you make it a point to not try to cram yourself into that.

It's really sweet, and if you didn't know better (by virtue of the fact that you and Noctis are taking fumbling steps towards dating), you'd think that they had like, been married for years already or something. It's that level of dreamy fitting together, but you don't wind up feeling _too_ much like a third wheel.

"How long have you guys known each other, anyway?" you eventually ask, somewhere around five in the morning. The sky outside has only just started to get light, not even changing colors yet.

"Uh," Noctis looks genuinely stumped. "Forever?"

Ignis chuckles. "I was introduced to Noctis when he was three, shortly after my sixth birthday."

"Okay, yeah, forever," you agree. No wonder Noctis doesn't really seem to remember - you can't remember anything from before _you_ were three, so for him there probably wasn't ever a time before Ignis.

"Only Gladio can claim to have known him longer," Ignis says, still wearing a fond smile. "As I'm reasonably sure they were introduced in the cradle."

"We were," Noctis says. "Dad still thinks the story of how I inked in his face the first time we met was hilarious, he'll tell it to anyone."

Before you can ask for any more details, the phone Noctis has left abandoned on the foot of your bed goes off. Immediately you go stiff, watching as he reaches over for it, then glancing at Ignis, who also seems to have gone tense.

Noctis doesn't even glance at the screen before swiping it to answer and putting it to his ear. "Yeah?"

"All clear, without a star in sight," you hear Cor's voice say. It must be some kind of passcode, because Noctis doesn't relax until the phrase is finished.

"About time," he says. "Hold on, I'm putting you on speaker."

Ignis slides out of his seat in your reading nook and comes over, perching awkwardly on the end of your bed like he doesn't really want to push any boundaries by sitting on it. Probably a good thing, considering that Noctis has spread over most of it over the course of the night, including your legs. "Marshal," he says. "It's good to hear from you. I take it Niflheim is withdrawing?"

"They've already pulled out most of their forces. Just a few MTs left for the serpents to snack on, and those will be gone soon enough," Cor's voice comes from the phone. 

"Out by dawn, like usual," Noctis says with a sigh.

You don't say anything, because you are once again frozen by anxiety t the thought of Cor the Immortal on the other end of the line. You're going to need a bit more repeat exposure to get over that.

"The bay's not deep enough to hide daemons from the sunlight," Cor says. "And they don't have a chance against the serpents with MTs alone. How are you holding up?"

"Exhausted, but well," Ignis says. "Nothing out of the ordinary here."

"Head on home, then," Cor says. "Get some sleep."

"You too," Noctis says, clearly already fighting off a yawn now that the subject of sleep has been brought up. You can't say you're any different - you broke down and bummed a can of Ignis' coffee earlier, but that just gave you the jitters on top of being tired. "Even the Immortal can't pull too many all-nighters."

"Worry about yourselves," Cor says, and apparently that's about as much goodbye as he gives, because the line cuts out then as he hangs up.

You stop resisting the temptation to yawn, a little amused at Noctis doing the exact same thing. "Glad that's over with," Noctis says. "I could sleep for a week."

"You still have to get home, first," Ignis says. "I imagine Prompto would probably like to be able to stretch out properly in his bed."

You flush a little and ignore the thought about how you wouldn't _really_ mind sharing with Noctis, even just to cuddle, even if he's had to stop every so often to spray his tentacles with a mister of sea water because drying out is apparently _really unpleasant_ for him. "Yeah, not to kick you guys out of anything, but..."

"Don't worry about it," Noctis says. "I'm beat. Iggy, carry me home."

"Not a chance," Ignis says. "You'd best leave the same way you came in."

"Ugh," Noctis says, with a look up towards your window. "You're no fun at all."

You scoot out of the way so that he can apparently just... climb out of it and slip back into the water that way. Instead you glance at Ignis. "Do you, uh - "

"Don't concern yourself on my behalf," he says. "It's early enough that I should be able to swim back without being seen, and I'm sure Noct will be willing to lend me a hand at the other end."

A pause. He seems to be studying you, as though deciding how honest he can be with you. You try to put on your best reassuring face and to generally look trustworthy. 

(He might be your boss, but you can probably still be _friends_ with him. It's not like he's going anywhere in Noctis' life, that part is obvious.)

"Or I may attempt to catch a nap at one of our underwater facilities," he admits after a moment. "I admit, the idea of trying to pull myself out of the water to get up to bed is... Not appealing at the moment."

You get that. You _really_ get that. "Man, sometimes the stairs here are almost too much, I can't imagine trying to deal with your - " You make a kind of floppy gesture with one hand that hopefully gets the point across. "But seriously, if you need a hand..."

"Think nothing of it," he says. "Sleep well, and I'll see you on Wednesday."

"'Kay," you say, not bothering to insist any further. If he says he can handle it? You're tired as hell, you'll let him handle it. "Seeya then."

And then he's gone, and you lock the door after him, close your window, and flop into your still-damp bed without even taking the chance to piss or change clothes or anything. You're asleep in moments.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the UPDATED TAGS on this chapter, in particular the 'consensual ritual cannibalism' tag. While it is only discussed in this chapter, it will remain a plot element going forward, and I realize that that's not to everyone's taste.
> 
> Shorter than usual, but oh well. That's the way the scenes sort themselves out, sometimes.

Tuesday, unsurprisingly, is a total wash. You don't wake until the middle of the afternoon, and you just _know_ your sleep schedule's going to be a wreck for getting up early for work the next day. Eventually, you groan, glare at the _2:38 PM_ on your phone one last time, and slide out of bed to get a shower and clean up the assorted refuse of having two other guys keep you up all night.

At least Ignis tried to keep the mess from spreading too far. Noctis on the other hand... Well, you didn't find any snack wrappers _in_ your bed, that's probably about the best you can say for him.

Oh, and he put the shirt you let him borrow in the laundry bin on his way out, that's nice.

By the time you're all done and munching on one of the cafe's leftover turnovers for breakfast, there's a text blinking on your phone.

> **Prince Bedhead**
> 
> man you're lucky you're not Crownsguard yet, I've been stuck in meetings all day.
> 
> just wanna sleep.
> 
> -> that bad?

You stretch and dig out your running gear while waiting for him to text back. No excuses for slacking off, even if you slept in till forever.

> awful. Iggy won't let me nap.
> 
> -> that sucks
> 
> -> i'm only just getting up
> 
> lucky.

You laugh and drop your phone into your pocket. It's only when you're locking your door to leave for your run that a thought occurs to you -

> -> wait what do you mean i'm not crownsguard YET
> 
> uh what did you think Gladio's training you for?
> 
> -> holy SHIT

Phone back in your pocket, at least for a couple blocks, even if you know that you're going to be distracted this entire run. It makes sense, explains why they're willing to put all this effort into you, but still, shouldn't someone have told you about this?

> it's not THAT bad. not all of the Crownsguard does fighting stuff.
> 
> it's not like getting scouted for the Glaive.
> 
> -> so iggy's crownsguard, then?

It fits with the pieces you know so far, at least. Not that you doubt that Ignis can fight, but he definitely had a lot of muscle definition under his shirt last night, at least as much as you could tell in the dark.

> sort of? he and Gladio are my retainers, they're special.
> 
> -> oh
> 
> -> so he could probably break me in half too
> 
> oh yeah. definitely. I'd rather fight Gladio.

_Well_ , that's not a sentence you ever thought you'd read and it's kind of fucking terrifying, given what you've seen of Gladio's muscles. And teeth.

> anyway they just want you to at least have some self-defense type training. Crownsguard takes care of the crown, Glaive does the scary stuff.
> 
> -> so its a just in case kind of thing
> 
> yeah exactly.

You relax, a little, and get through the rest of your run with only one case of a tiny dog ( _snack-sized_ , you remember Noctis saying that day, and it makes you grin again to remember) barking its tiny little heart out at you. For all that the shadows are long by the time you get back to your apartment, it's a pretty good day.

You get home, pop some leftovers in the microwave, and settle in.

> -> so what makes iggy and gladio special anyway
> 
> -> i remember iggy said something about you guys being bonded but whats that even mean
> 
> uh.
> 
> you know I think that's an in-person conversation?
> 
> -> oh.

Shit, Prompto. Don't make it weird, don't make it weird.

> I mean, we've been meaning to tell you, it's just. hasn't been a good time.
> 
> -> okay???
> 
> we can do it tomorrow? just like. don't freak.
> 
> -> noctis i definitely going to freak because your life is freaky and every time i think ive got it figured out there turns out to be another freakier layer underneath
> 
> okay yeah. good point.
> 
> only freak a little then.
> 
> -> ill try?

You made it weird, clearly. You're almost scared to find out what exactly you're going to wind up talking about tomorrow. Good thing you got caught on sleep, because now you're going to spend _all night_ stressing over it.

> you can call me noct by the way.
> 
> we're there. we've reached that point.
> 
> -> you mean it???
> 
> yeah.

On the other hand, maybe you'll just spend the rest of the evening focusing on the warm fuzzies instead. _Hell yes_ , nickname privileges are yours.

\----

The next morning comes bright and too-early and you almost forget to bring your swim trunks with you, as stressed as you still are about the Conversation you're going to be having. When you get there, for once, Ignis isn't running around setting up for opening; instead he's left, for some reason, one of the Glaives in charge of the front.

It's kind of funny seeing one of the elite soldiers of the Kingdom of Lucis standing around in an apron, commanding the other part-timers like soldiers, but you don't get to stop and enjoy it. You get waved to the back instead, where you drop your crap in your locker for the time being.

Gladio's sitting on the edge of the deck, drying his hair with a towel, and gives you a wave. "Head on up the stairs," he says, with a vague wave in the the direction of the staircase that you've never gone up towards what you figure is Ignis' apartment. "I'll be there in a minute."

"Okay," you say, trying to sound confident and not really feeling it at all. Instead you kind of feel like you're getting drawn progressively deeper into the ocean every time you seem to level up enough to have access to another part of the Top Secret Lucian Mermaid HQ. 

The thought doesn't really help your nerves. It just makes you wonder when you're going to get sucked under and drown. Too fast, too fast, everything is going too fast, and maybe you brought this one on yourself by asking about the bond thing but that doesn't really change much.

At the top of the narrow stairway there's two doors. One's closed and the other is cracked open, so you assume you're supposed to head for the open one and stick your head through.

Since the first thing you see is Noctis - with legs, for once! - seated on an expensive looking couch, you assume you've made the right decision. 

"Morning," he says, with a lazy wave that doesn't quite cover the fact that his posture is almost as twitchy as yours. There's a balled-up paper napkin on the table in front of him, as well as a balled-up muffin wrapper and a crumpled energy drink can.

Only Ignis, unflappable as ever, adds any degree of calm to the scene, but you can't help but notice that he's gone straight for the Ebony cans this morning instead of his usual _cup_ of coffee.

"Morning," you say in reply, scooting in and dropping to a seat on the couch opposite Noctis. "...Do you have another one of those muffins? I, uh, didn't really eat this morning."

And now that you're here and maybe, sort of, taking a breath to calm down, you realize you're starving. Luckily, Noctis - _Noct_ \- doesn't question it and instead just pulls a muffin out of his royal magical hammerspace and tosses it over the table to you. You manage to not totally fumble the catch.

The muffin is blueberry with one of those globs of cream cheese icing on the top, and is incredibly still _warm_. Magic's pretty awesome, actually, when it isn't stressing you out.

"Thanks," you say, taking a bite and trying to work on breathing a little deeper as you eat. Two bites in, Gladio arrives, still shirtless and with the towel over his shoulders.

"Would it kill you to put on a shirt?" Noct says, without looking up. Gladio just makes a 'hmph' kind of noise as he sits next to the prince on the couch.

"It _is_ a serious discussion, Gladio," Ignis says.

"It's okay!" you say, setting the half-finished muffin down on the table. "Don't, uh, feel like you need to do anything special on my account or anything."

"Little late for that," Noctis mutters, and you realize that actually having legs probably counts as something special. You shift awkwardly, winding up barely sitting on the couch at all. "Look, I'm sorry, this is all my fault and I - "

"How about you tell him what you're at fault for, before you start apologizing?" Ignis says, and Noctis just falls silent, looking down at his hands. Ignis trades a look with Gladio over his head, and they both sigh.

"Look, it's like this," Gladio starts. "The king's retainers - they're the ones closest to him, right? Well, that kind of means something different when you start getting magic involved - "

"Oh god," you interrupt, because your mind just jumped that gap and you don't really think you need him to fill in the rest. You should have just figured it out from the _tone_ , because that's definitely the tone they use in movies when someone's trying to talk around explaining a sex thing. "You're all fucking. This is the 'we're all fucking' talk, isn't it?"

There's a moment of silence. Ignis is distinctly blushing and clearly trying to pretend he isn't. Gladio just freezes, mid-explanation, and Noctis sinks his face into his hands.

"Well, he's not exactly _wrong_ ," Ignis finally says, which just makes Noct groan.

"I - look, that's totally not a dealbreaker or anything, I'm just kind of - I didn't expect the bond thing to be _sex magic_ , okay, this is a totally normal reaction to that kind of thing," you say, finding yourself unable to keep from babbling. With every word, Noctis seems to be trying to sink further into the couch, and Gladio's expression transforms from startled to amused. "I'm okay with becoming part of the royal harem or whatever, actually, even though I'm sure there's like, better people you could choose? Like no offense but you guys are all scary competent and I'm just, I'm just this guy who takes photos and works at a cafe, I'm not really, like, royal harem material..."

You stop when Ignis holds up a hand. "It's not sex magic, Prompto."

"Oh," you say, and then you feel like a complete idiot and consider maybe sinking into the couch yourself. "But... wait, it's not sex magic, but you're still all...?"

Somehow you can't bring yourself to say it a second time. It was one thing when it was just a wild guess, but after Ignis basically confirmed it, it feels _weird_ to actually put it into words like that.

"It's a telepathy thing," Noct says finally, slightly muffled by the hands still in his face. "S'posed to be so that if the king's in serious danger, his retainers know immediately. It's just also, uh..."

"It also carries _other_ thoughts and emotions," Ignis says, smoothly as ever. His cheeks are still kind of pink.

"Which is kinda inconvenient when one of you gets a crush on somebody and decides to share it around," Gladio adds, elbowing Noctis gently in the side.

"I said I was sorry, okay, leave me alone," the prince replies, finally pulling his face out of his hands. His cheeks are really red, too.

"Tell that to Iggy, he's the one who's been having an ethical crisis."

You take a deep breath, and the sound of your inhale makes all three of them look at you. It takes a second for your brain to catch up to the fact that, oh yeah, they're probably waiting for you to say something.

"I'm okay," you say, and then take another deep breath. "Really, I'm just... It's _weird_ , but it's a weird I can really, really live with?" None of them respond. You exhale. "...I guess this means I don't have to feel bad about looking at Gladio's abs anymore."

" _Ha_ , told you he was looking, Noct." Gladio's grin only has human teeth right now, but you feel the shark in it anyway. He claps Noctis hard around the shoulders.

"You're sitting in front of him without a shirt, who _wouldn't_ look?" Noct mutters, before sighing and leaning back into the couch. His eyes catch yours, and he gives you one of those little smiles that makes the floor drop a little further away from you. "We cool?"

"We're definitely cool," you say, and offer him an air fistbump over the table. He returns it. "So uh, how long have you guys...?"

"We performed the ritual shortly after Noct turned sixteen," Ignis says. "So about four and a half years, now."

"Dad was pissed," Noctis says. "He wanted me to wait till I was eighteen."

"In retrospect, it might have been a good idea." Ignis looks back over towards you, and adds, "The younger the participants when the ritual is performed, the more likely they are to get tangled up in each other."

"And the worse it is when a member of the bond dies," Gladio adds, his voice unusually somber.

You think about that for a minute, and then shiver. Okay, yeah, no, not even going to _think_ about how screwed up it would be to have someone in your head your entire life and then they're just _gone_.

Better to focus on something else. "You guys keep saying 'ritual,' but like, what does that actually mean?"

Another one of those shared looks between the three of them that probably indicates that none of them actually wants to _say_ whatever it is, which just makes you way more unsettled than you were before. If it's _not_ a sex thing, then what could possibly - 

"Consumption of each others' flesh," Ignis says, finally. "It's a cannibalistic ritual."

" _Fuck_ ," you say in a quiet, wheezy voice, before hiding your face in your hands. Okay, _now_ you are going to freak out. "What the hell, that's so screwed up - "

"It's not _that_ bad," Noct mutters. "It's not like we took big bites out of each other or anything. You can't even _tell_ on me, because the tentacle tips grew back - "

"I am not even _touching_ the fact that you can regrow your tentacles right now," you say. "Oh my god, that's - magic is _fucked up_ , you know that right?"

"You'll notice that Gladio and I both have small chips taken from our dorsal fins," Ignis says, not even skipping a beat as you freak out a little. "We used scalpels, it was perfectly sanitary."

"You ate each other! Probably raw!" The hysterical part of your brain adds _Naked, in the moonlight!_ and then you just... start laughing, because of all the screwed up things. "What the hell, guys, I thought you were the kind of mermaids who didn't eat people!"

"Bad news," Noct says, and you honestly can't tell from his tone alone if he's joking or not.

"Well, not _yet_ ," Gladio says, and that's... Probably not joking.

"Outside of specific, _consensual_ rituals, only our enemies." Okay, Ignis definitely isn't joking. You gulp.

"Please don't eat me."

"We're not going to eat you, we like you," Noctis says, and it's the least reassuring statement ever. "I mean... Unless you want to, but that's _really_ going too fast."

"Uh, yeah," you say, slightly dumb. "Yeah, that's... let's just put that idea under the bed where none of us have to think about it right now. Way under the bed. In a box. A _locked_ box."

"Well, you haven't run from the room screaming yet, I'd say that's better than we expected," Ignis says, and he's _smiling_ , and a traitorously non-freaked-out part of your brain observes that his smile is _really pretty_.

At least you don't have to feel bad about _that_ anymore.

"Told you we should've waited till after someone explained Drowning to him," Gladio mutters, and when you turn his way, he clarifies, "Drowning Ritual, it's how you get gills if you're mixed."

"Oh," you say. "...You know, I think I can guess what that one involves on my own."

"Ritual magic's just _like_ that," Noct says. "You want the good shit, you gotta pay for it."

It makes sense when he puts it that way - which might make it the first comment that Noctis has made about magic that makes sense _before_ Ignis tacks on a further explanation. You nod slowly. "We're not, uh, planning to do that any time soon, are we? Because I really don't think I'm ready for that."

"Of course not," Ignis says, and you can't help but exhale in relief as he continues, "For one thing, your genetic results haven't come back from the labs yet. We have no idea what we'd be dealing with. For another..." 

He sighs and leans back. "Well, you're aware of my difficulties. Once you go through with a ritual, there's no going back, no matter how unpleasant or inconvenient it is."

You nod. It makes sense that it would be like that, too. "Guess it's a good thing you guys like each other, if you can't exactly get a divorce," you say.

And - _oh_ , the way they all glance at each other and smile. It almost makes you feel like you're intruding.

"They're kind of a pain sometimes," Noct says after a minute, and _oh_ , he's intentionally seeking out eye contact with you under his bangs. "But they're pretty great. Wouldn't trade 'em for anything."

Another pause, and then he says, "You sure you're okay with this? Like, the three-for-one deal thing? Because I know it's kind of - weird, if you're not used to it..."

"I'm okay," you say. "Just... tell me this is the last big surprise for a while?"

"Should be," he says, leaning forward to offer you a hand across the table. You grin and catch his hand in yours. 

"Then we're good."

\----

The afternoon is spent in the water again, this time with both Noctis and Gladio, and you're able to relax a lot more. Even though you do get pretty much manhandled by the both of them, and learn very quickly why no one takes on a Lucis Caelum in a wrestling match, to Gladio's entertainment.

When you get home, all you want to do is stand in the shower for hours and hours. Your hair's barely dry by the time you get home (you're glad, now, that most of your coworkers and the customers aren't going to notice anything weird, thanks to those enchantments), but you immediately head for the shower to get it soaked again anyway.

Otherwise it'll probably start growing algae or something.

You just stand in the hot water at first, letting it rush over your skin and take the salt and aches away. You're still going to hurt in the morning - and in new and interesting ways, no less. The wrestling session with Noct left little lines of red sucker marks all over your arms, like the most weirdly geometric pattern of hickies.

...Ugh, but now that you've thought of that you can't help but imagine him giving you _normal_ hickies, and it's _really good_ as such thoughts go. You weren't really in the habit before of thinking of anyone in _specific_ , but now...

Well, you do kind of have three hot sort-of boyfriends, now. And you spent most of the day getting manhandled by two of them, occasionally with Ignis watching and offering commentary.

Mm, Ignis watching and offering _commentary_ , yeah, okay, that can go under the 'definitely hot' pile. You think of the way he smiled earlier, let your brain add just a hint of sultry filter to it... Put his bangs just a _little_ in disarray, like he was after you helped him out of the water...

Yeah, okay, hot. You play with the metaphorical dials a bit as you run your hands down your hips. Dim the lighting down to _here_ or so, so that you can get him to take those damn glasses off, put Gladio _here_ so you can lean back against that sweet, bare chest...

Fantasy thus successfully framed, you tilt your head back to let the water splash over your face. Vaguely, you think that that's probably indicative of something, your comfort level in the water versus on land or... _whatever_ , this is your jerking-off shower not your existential crisis about being part merman shower.

You grind into your hand, wondering what it'd feel like to have Noct's tentacles a little higher up than pinning down your shins, wondering what you'd find if you reached up and underneath them - 

It's over so quickly that you surprise yourself, groaning and jerking your eyes open before sagging back against the shower wall. Okay, then. You watch the water wash away the evidence and feel vaguely unsatisfied, wanting someone else's hands instead of your own, or at least someone to cuddle with afterwards.

"Three boyfriends, no snuggling," you observe aloud as you turn the water off. You've probably been in here long enough, even though your fingers haven't gotten wrinkly.

Actually, they haven't gotten wrinkly from all the swimming in the sea you've been doing, either. Maybe they just _don't_ anymore, maybe that's a merman thing that your body's already doing, already changing just from contact with the ocean alone.

That should probably freak you out, but it doesn't. Maybe you're just freaked-out-out for the day, maybe it's your resolve to not turn this into the existential crisis shower, or maybe it's just because it's so _small_ , compared to everything else.

You shoot a text off to Ignis with the question as you towel off, anyway, just so you don't forget.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and then I wrote most of _this_ in one night... please don't look at me, I'm not a functional human being and barfing up words is how I cope
> 
> next time, whenever I get around to it, is amacitiaville

And so your routine shifts again, with more on the "learning to fight in the water" side of things. Gladio has you focusing on using your arms, which makes sense considering that you probably won't have legs to fight with.

Actually, even though they're mixed, not a one of the members of the Glaive you've seen has anything that could effectively be called legs. The closest thing is Libertus, who is some kind of whale, and it turns out that being a mammal at all is extremely unusual. And generally points to having Tenebraean family history - most of the Glaives here are from Galahd, including Libertus, but there's always some chance of mixing according to Ignis - but that explains exactly jack and shit to you, really.

You are way more exhausted than you're used to being, and you even wind up skipping a few runs just because you're that sore. It's not like you're not burning the calories; even indulging in Glaive Pizza Night is on the table with how hungry you are. (Especially when they make _you_ run to get the pizza. Thanks, Nyx.)

So while you'd normally be super nervous about getting called in to Ignis' office, you're too tired to really be anxious, especially on a Monday morning. Even if Monday is _your_ Friday, there's still just something about Mondays.

You go in a little early like a trooper - you haven't been in here since your original interview, but it hasn't changed much. There's a different coffee mug and a framed photo has been added to the desk, facing so that only the person behind the desk can see it. From that alone, you figure it must be of Noct. The urge to lean around and see if it's one of the pictures you've taken of him recently is high, but you resist the temptation like a champion.

Plus, Ignis is kind of already there, which is important. He's holding a thick file envelope from the day's post and frowning at it. "Your test results are here," he says, without looking up at you, and then closes the folder with a sigh and slides it across the desk at you. "I took a look myself, which I hope isn't too invasive, but I wanted to have some idea what to expect if you had questions."

"Right," you say. "Uh, no, that's fine." You pause, taking the folder but not opening it yet. "Is it, like, bad?"

"It might be better for you to take a look for yourself first," Ignis says, pulling off his glasses to clean them and settling back in his chair to wait. It doesn't do you any comfort at all, but you sit down and crack the folder open.

The top part's mostly vitals and stuff that you already knew, the stuff you scribbled out on the test kit before you sent it off, so you skip down to the next header.

> Genetic Analysis: Human Ethnicity
> 
> Niflheim (Gralea) 58%  
>  Niflheim (Outlying Regions) 17%  
>  Tenebrae 11%  
>  Lucis (Other) 7%  
>  Accordo (Outlying Regions) 5%  
>  Lucis (Insomnia) 2%

"O-oh," you say, sucking in a shaky breath. "That's..."

You'd always kind of suspected. It's not like there's a lot of Lucians with blond hair - Ignis' is about as light as you've ever seen in an Insomnian. But knowing that you were probably at least part Niff (even if you were hoping against hope for Tenebraen), and seeing it in those letters and _58%_ straight out of Gralea is something else.

You slide the folder onto the desk with a deep breath. The mer results are on the next page, but right now you can't even turn the page. You're having enough trouble breathing (heh, you could just drown here under the weight of it, wouldn't _that_ be fitting?)

Ignis barely glances at the page before meeting your eyes, over the rim of his glasses. "It doesn't have to mean anything you don't want it to, Prompto."

"Doesn't it, though?" you find yourself saying. "Might as well kick me out now - they're not going to let a Niff in the Crownsguard or whatever. I'm sunk."

"Don't be foolish," Ignis says, and he doesn't exactly smile, but after a brief hesitation he reaches out over the desk and folds one of his hands over yours, still weakly gripping the folder. It's only then that you realize that your hands are shaking. "Your ethnic background might be Niflheimir, but you're as Insomnian as any of us. If we started kicking out those who came to Insomnia as refugees, which is the more likely explanation, then we'd lose half the Glaive just as a starting point."

"Galahdians aren't Niffs," you mutter, but you turn over your hand and squeeze his. It doesn't really make things better, but at least you know you've got Prince Noctis' Scariest Retainer on your side. "Did you, uh, tell the guys?"

"I didn't want to without talking to you," he says. You nod.

"Thanks, but... It's okay. They'll probably find out eventually." Just keep your breathing even, Prompto, it's fine. (It's soooo not fine.)

"If you're sure," Ignis says. "It was the second page that raised more questions for me, actually."

"Oh, right," you say. The second page with the results you actually care about, yeah. Moving your non-Ignis hand so fast you probably almost give yourself a papercut, you turn the page. This list is a good bit longer than the other one.

> Genetic Analysis: Magical Background
> 
> Human 38%  
>  Mer 35%  
>  \---> Unknown 17%  
>  \---> Cephalopod 8%  
>  \---> Deepwater 5%  
>  \---> Shark 3%  
>  \---> Other 2%  
>  Siren 23%  
>  \---> Cormorant 7%  
>  \---> Plover 5%  
>  \---> Heron 5%  
>  \---> Albatross 4%  
>  \---> Other 2%  
>  Selkie 4%

You stare at that breakdown for a while. "Unknown?" you finally repeat. "You mean you just... don't know?"

"That's not the only oddity," Ignis says, and he lefts go of your hand to tap next to the 'Siren' entry. "Considering your Niflheimir heritage, we would expect _this_ to be higher than mer, for a start."

"Because most mer are Lucian," you say, and he nods.

"Almost all," Ignis agrees. "So you see where something is very much not adding up." He moves his fingers up a few lines. "And the 'Cephalopod' portion in particular - that is almost exclusively found in the Lucian _nobility_."

You rack your brain trying to remember what 'cephalopod' even means. "Octopus and stuff, right? That's... Yeah, that's weird."

It's really weird. Because that means there's almost as much octopus in you as Lucis at all - you flip back a page and point at the 'Lucis (Other)' entry. "What's this mean? Like, what region?"

"Usually too mixed to tell," Ignis says. "Everything from Leide westward - people in western Lucis move around more than Insomnians or the eastern provinces."

"Okay," you say, and that makes enough sense, at least. You flip the page back, pointedly not thinking about that big 'Unknown' staring at you from the top of the page. "And deepwater's stuff like you, right? Eels or whatever."

"Eels, anglers, anything that withstands a lot of water pressure," Ignis says. "Outside the obvious two entries, the most interesting thing about the mer breakdown is the lack of freshwater, and that's not all that unusual."

"Right," you say. "And sirens are... birds?" You know albatross are birds, anyway, and you're pretty sure herons are, too.

"Correct. And selkies are the sealfolk - they're quite uncommon now, but there's a dilute spread in virtually everyone with Tenebraean ancestry, so that's not at all surprising."

"Alright," you say, and it doesn't quite settle your guts but it's enough that you can sit back and think about something other than your anxiety for a minute. "So what's that mean for the whole... Drowning thing?" 

Just thinking about it gives you the willies, but that doesn't mean that you're not going to do it. You're not even aware of having decided to, it's just - that's kind of part and parcel of the deal, and it's not like you have much else going for you, is there?

(If nothing else, you can probably make a living off cool underwater shots.)

(God, but it really does feel like a teen girl's favorite supernatural romance when you think about it like that. Doesn't the heroine always wind up giving up her normal life for love or whatever in those?)

"Well, you've more than enough mer blood for it to work," Ignis says. "Even if we don't have any idea what the results will be, which complicates things. We'll have to take a few extra precaution, but if you're decided on that path..."

"Kinda maybe," you say, not wanting to commit quite yet. "So the siren stuff won't mess it up or anything?"

Ignis shakes his head. "Drowning is a mer ritual. I'm not sure what sirens do for their mixbloods, if they do anything at all, but it wouldn't be the same."

"Alright," you say. "Cool." And then you stare at the folder for a minute before you add on, "Do you really think I'm cut out for this? I'm not, like, a fighter or anything."

"It's barely been a month since you stepped into our world, Prompto," Ignis says, and his voice is a little softer. "There's no need to rush things."

"See, you say that, but..." You sigh. "I just feel like I'm playing catch-up all the time. You guys are all scary and competent and I'm just... some guy. Is that really enough?"

"Of course it is," Ignis says. "You've taken more than your share of strangeness about the whole thing in stride - even, if you'll forgive the phrase, like a fish to water."

You're not sure you have it in you to laugh, but you give the joke a weak smile, and Ignis smiles back.

"And there's no need for you to go it alone, either," he says. "We're all here for you - whether you decide to go through with the ritual or not. It isn't as though it's a requirement for anything but the Kingsglaive, and I don't imagine you're interested in that at this point."

"Haha, noooo," you agree. "Definitely a homefront kind of guy."

"Then you'll be fine," Ignis says. "That's yours, if you want it, but we'd best get to work. The lunch rush will be starting soon."

"Right," you say, and you fold the folder up and take it to stuff in your locker before you get to work. Just another day at the top secret Lucian mermaid cafe.

\----

When you get off, it's to a series of texts from Noctis, which is, y'know, just fine.

> **Prince Bedhead**
> 
> heard about your test results from Specs. you okay?
> 
> -> man it's been a day
> 
> -> dunno what i think about it yet
> 
> yeah, it sounded pretty wild. I've never heard of an unknown level that high, like, wtf.
> 
> -> beats me i guess!!! 
> 
> -> kinda more worried about the niff thing though
> 
> why? it's human shit, it's no big deal
> 
> -> easy for you to say, man
> 
> -> human shit was the only shit i had two months ago

Your phone goes quiet for a while after that - when it buzzes again in your pocket, you're on the process of getting on a gondola with the handful of groceries you need for the next week or so, so you settle into a seat and drop a bag between your feet to pull your phone back out.

> that's fair I guess.
> 
> do you want a hug? I hear I give pretty good hugs.

You kind of consider it. On the one hand, weird wet tentacles. On the other, boyfriend hugs.

Yeah, okay, no competition, boyfriend hugs definitely win out.

> -> yeah that sounds pretty good actually
> 
> -> you gotta come in the door this time tho!
> 
> no fun.
> 
> -> AT LEAST WEAR A SHIRT NOCT!
> 
> alright, alright, see you later, spoilsport.

He's not there yet when you reach your apartment, so you kind of chill out putting your groceries away. Somewhere in all the background checks and stuff, your hourly rate went up, and Ignis shooed you off with a bunch of health insurance paperwork that you hadn't really looked at yet. You're considering an end to putting that off when there's a knock at your door.

"Just a sec!" you call, hauling out of bed and over to fiddle with the lock. Noctis is still shaking water out of his hair when you swing the door open, but he is at least on two legs instead of eight, which is good enough for you.

"You cleaned up," he says with a glance around your place before just flopping right back into your bed like he owns the place. Which, you suppose it is the crown paying your rent now, and also he's your sort of boyfriend, so whatever.

"I mean, yeah," you say. "What if Iggy showed up again? I don't want him to think I'm like, _messy_."

"It's still way neater than mine," Noctis says, rolling his shoulders a little before he leans back. For right now, he seems to be keeping the feet, so you sit next to him and prop yourself up with a pillow. "He gives me shit for leaving middens around all the time."

"Uh, middens?" you ask.

"Right, sorry. Piles of crab shells and stuff - it's like, a _thing_ for octopus mer, but you know how Specs is." Noct rolls his eyes. "I don't leave dirty dishes in them anymore, I don't know what more he wants from me."

You can't help but grin at that. "Is it like an eel thing for him to be like that, or...?"

"Naw, pretty sure it's just an Ignis thing. The big eel thing is mostly hiding in crevices, which is how he _finds_ all my middens."

You definitely laugh at that. "Can't help you with that one, buddy."

"It's a pain, but he's pretty great, so I'll deal," Noctis says, and then he stretches out a little more and there's one of those little shatterings of crystal before he's damp tentacles all over your bed instead of legs. They just kind of unroll, one of them over your pillows, one of them over your lap.

"He really is," you agree. "I mean, I'm still kind of freaked about the whole... thing," the folder is in your bag and you can feel it staring at you as you talk, "but it would have been a lot worse if he wasn't there, I think."

"He's good at that," Noct agrees. "Doesn't get ruffled by much."

"Yeah," you say. And then, "So I thought you promised me a hug."

"One big tentacle hug, coming right up," he says with a smirk, and then he just kind of climbs into your lap to wrap his arms around your shoulders, a couple of tentacles around your waist. You wrap your arms around him in turn, under his armpits, and you just kind of... lean into it.

It really is a good hug. Warm and yeah, a little wet, but you're getting used to that, and just the right amount of squeeze. You prop your forehead on his shoulder and just kind of breathe for a minute.

After a minute like that, Noctis says, "You know, I'm really glad we're the ones getting you instead of the birdbrain Niffs. Your hair looks enough like feathers already, it doesn't need any help."

You laugh a little. "Says the guy with a perpetual chocobo-butt."

"It does _not_ look like a chocobo's butt," he mutters into your hair. "Sure you're okay?"

"No," you say. "But I think I'm gonna be."

\----

You let yourself wallow in it on Tuesday, because on Wednesday, you've got to drag your ass back to the cafe and get back in the water with Gladio until you ache again. A little wallowing is pretty well-deserved, you think.

All Gladio says about your results is, "If you wind up being a squid I'm giving your training to Noct," and you're grateful for that, too. That at least for one person it isn't a big deal. And of course the Glaives don't even know your results came back, so they don't treat you any differently.

Back to the grind, then. You're steadily getting to know the Glaive crew, which is good because Gladio starts dragging them into your training sessions, too, something about the variety of opponents making you learn faster. You just think it's really unfair that Nyx is twice as fast as you even with all the drag of his huge ray fins, but that's kind of how it is.

Two weeks after your test results come in, Gladio comes and finds you over by your locker as you're toweling down. There's a bit of a gash in your arm (thanks, Crowe, watch the claws next time), which stings after the salt water.

"You can take a curative for that arm, you know," he says, sitting on the bench next to your locker. "Nobody's gonna mind, training accidents're what they're for."

You bite your lip, but nod. "Thanks, but I've never actually used one..."

Gladio chuckles in response and pulls one of the glowing bottles out of the air - Noct's Armiger, you asked about it a while ago but it doesn't stop being _cool_ now that you're over the initial _holy shit_ about people using magic so casually. "Here. You just kind of squeeze the bottle over the wound."

You take the potion from him and look it over. It feels a little bit warm in your hand, and you can't tell if the bulb part of the bottle is glass or plastic. "Like... this?" you say, as you hold it over your arm and squeeze. You startle a little when the bulb part of it just _breaks_ , the liquid inside dissolving into sparkles that float and sink into your arm.

It stings at first, but then the cut part of your arm gets warm and disappears. Gladio nods in approval. "Yep, just like that."

"Nice," you say, turning your arm a bit to get a better look at it. "Works underwater, too?"

"Wouldn't be much good if it didn't," Gladio says. "The king can't make enough to supply the whole Glaive, nevermind the Crownsguard, but Noct's really good at making the things, so we've always got a ton here."

No wonder the Glaives here think this is a cushy post. Not much happens and free healing for everybody. You nod. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Actually, I was kind of hoping you could do me a favor," Gladio says, shifting to lean back a little on the bench. "Y'see, my little sister's coming in next week, and I was hoping you could show her around town a little?"

"Uh... sure?" you say. "How old is she?" Because if she's like a really little kid, that's totally different.

"She's sixteen." Internally, you breathe a sigh of relief. Teenager, okay, you can deal with that. "She likes to hang around Noct, but obviously he can't do a full day of running around town doing tourist stuff."

You think about your ice cream date, frown, and nod. "Yeah, he kind of can't."

"But he said that you know all the cool tourist spots, so..." Gladio trails off, then gives you a smile that's less implication-of-shark-teeth than the ones you get when he's talking about training. "How 'bout this? You handle Iris for me and I'll take you out to dinner."

"Whoa," you say. "I was gonna agree anyway, you don't have to sweeten the deal! It's no trouble." Not that you'll say _no_ to an actual like, dinner date, but.

"Naw, I want to treat you," Gladio says, still with that warm smile. It sure does _something_ to your gut, and you might be kind of blushing a little, even as you think _score_. "You've been working hard."

"Thanks," you say. "It's really nothing, though. I like showing people around."

Gladio looks like he's going to say something else, but there's a splash from over by the dock before he can. You both look over, in spite of there being a wall of lockers between you and the water. 

"Just agree to the date, Prompto!" comes Noctis' voice from the other side, and then another splash as he presumably goes back under. This time you think there's a bit of color in Gladio's cheeks when you glance back.

"Well... Okay," you say, finally. Gladio grins and claps you on the shoulder as he gets up.

"See you later, then."

"Yeah, later."

 _Man_ , you think to yourself after he's gone, as you wring the water out of your training shirt. You are way too lucky with this three boyfriends thing.


End file.
